Here we will discuss how to conquer your communication skills with some strategies that can be applied straight away. Also discussing how the mindset towards a conversation is important for a positive outcome. I learned this strategies over hundreds of hours selling, interviewing, coaching people. I then came up with strategies through trial and error to be the most effective.
How to make a great first Impression
Meeting new people can sometimes be awkward with thoughts like, what should I say, will they like me etc. Growing up I was an introverted character who’s thought of meeting new people was very uncomfortable. I didn’t like the interaction because I was never taught how to interact confidently. My Mum, on the other hand, she was amazing at it, always making people feel comfortable and laugh as well.
Up until I was 23 this was a challenge for me. If I was talking to girls I would need a bit of Dutch confidence. When I met new people I was more the quiet listener in the group. It always took me a while to come out of my shell. No matter how hard i tried, I never nailed the great first impression. The reason why is because I never had a strategy of putting this into practice.
What I’m going to cover next are the strategies I learned how to conquer your communication to create an immediate connection with another human. This has changed my life when meeting new people and has created many opportunities I have now in my life. So I hope this can help you too. Especially if you find it hard as I did to make conversations with strangers.
Mindset towards a conversation
When communicating with someone for the first time you have to have the right mindset going into it. Without it, nothing I will teach you below will work. If you’re pessimistic towards it or if you’re self-loathing it simply won’t work to the standard we are looking for.
Instead, you have to believe that it will work because first impressions matter. You have to stop thinking about you and start thinking about them. When the person in front of you feels respected, cared for, heard or they feel excited by your interaction, it matters to them. So every conversation you go into – you need to believe it’s going to be a positive interaction. When communicating with them you have to focus on them, not on you, that’s how connections are built. Have you ever been communicating with someone who just talks about themselves compared to someone who listens to you? There’s a difference right and that’s why it’s important to learn how to conquer your communication skills so your not the doing the over talking. .
What are they thinking?
When speaking to anyone new for the first time they are thinking three things.
1. What they were doing before and whether that’s more important than speaking to you.
2. Who you are.
3. Where’s this conversation going.
If you can get the person to focus on you and enjoy speaking to you. Then the rest of the conversation will be a lot easier to have a positive interaction.
The difference between someone you was expecting vs someone you was not
Have a good indication of what to expect on your first greeting as that is super important. This stops any embarrassing engagement from happening. I’ve been embarrassed a few times when it comes to greetings. One example that stands out was when I went up to someone to ask for something. I awkwardly put out my hand as you would do with a friend that you know. Well, he looked at me like I was some dirt on the ground and left my hand, yes my hand in mid-air floating.
I completely misread the situation but learned when meeting people that are not expecting you. Keep your body parts to yourself until you have read the situation first. (Don’t worry the hand has fully recovered, just.)
Another example when I was doing sales and I was trying to build rapport with a customer. Early on in the conversation I saw an opening, the lady had a bump and I asked: “When are you expecting?”
The response I was expecting was like 2 months, she said “I’m not pregnant” At that moment my whole body was in shock, then we both knew I f****d up and then the awkward departure quickly came.
Reading the conversation is super important when someone is expecting you, you have a bit of trust to play with and their guard is slightly down but when someone is not expecting you their guard is up. So whatever you do just keep it short and sweet. Don’t get too personal with them. Just get them to like you.
Action Tool kit
Give them your name
Get on their level
Make them laugh
The most important way to harness your action tool kit is to practice, practice, practice. This is the sure-fire way to get positive results. We are all at different levels of communication skills. I wasn’t that high up but after hours of practising I’ve become a great communicator. All because, yes you guessed it, I practised. Will it be nerve-racking? YES. Will you make a mistake? Most likely. That’s just how we grow as a human and the more grit you can show, you will become a great communicator. Because its not a born trait, its a learnt trait.
Hopefully, now you understand a bit more of what it takes to conquer your communication. When you get your mindset right then you can think about the person in front of you. Through practice, you will eventually find patterns and pitfalls you can avoid. The enjoyment of positive interaction with another human is a clear indication that what you’re doing is working. When we all become great communicators, that’s when our lives can move forward in the direction we want to go. It will not hold us back from our potential.