By Adam Smith
“The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.”C. JoyBell C.
The reason I’m writing this post is that I want to answer the question why do we feel unhappy? I want to find out from my own experiences and through science-backed research why this is the case. I then want to find solutions to be able to live a life where I’m happy and in control of my emotions. For you the reader I want to help you identity unhappiness triggers and ways for you to overcome this emotion positively. I will only speak from my experience and I respect everyone goes through different circumstances than I do. I hope you enjoy my findings.
Why Do I Feel Unhappy
Throughout my life, there have been times where I have been completely unhappy. I’m sure we all go through this at some point. No matter what examples you have they all mean something to you. For me, there were big things like a career I lost all passion to do or a never-ending financial cycle where my finances would never grow and made me feel totally out of control. It was also small things like a bad conversation or not spending time with my children because of work.
If prolonged this is damaging for your mental health and can lead you on a dark path if not treated. I’m very lucky that alcohol, drugs or any dark thoughts haven’t come my way and wish all those people who go down that path my utmost love to come back to a life of happiness.
Signs Of Unhappiness
I’ve come to realise through experience when I’ve become unhappy as a person. I want to sleep in, I feel lethargic, snappy, sarcastic, pessimistic, destructive. Some of these emotions can be seen by others but it’s the ones they can’t see you have to be more aware of because when alone with your thoughts they can be the most demoralising.
For me when I become unhappy and it’s unchecked it can feel so difficult to pull yourself back into the light. You feel drained and like nothings ever going to get better.
Overall I’m a pretty optimistic and positive person but I’m still human and will have a day that I don’t feel like my normal self. The most important thing to do is listen to your body and mind and how it feels. Your subconscious has all the answers for you. You just have to access it.
This has helped me change career paths where I get more free time to spend with my family and travel. It’s allowed me to change my whole financial directory. Finally, it’s allowed me to deal with the past experiences that held me back.
When we don’t listen to what we want we get more of what we have. If that’s something that doesn’t align with our wants and needs it will lead to our unhappiness.
Through life, we come across people every day who are unhappy in their work, at home and just how their life is being lived. This is because they’re not chasing their purpose in life.
Many things in life can affect us and become unhappy, here are some we must overcome,
Comparing yourself to others
Comparison to others can be positive and negative. If you’re looking at what your competitions doing to get some tips on how to improve your ability that’s great. Most people don’t do this and I have been a victim of this too. I have seen people progress in business and questioned my ability and standing which led to an endless cycle of unhappiness. Author Laura Gassner Otting says in her book “We are so limited with checking off the boxes of other peoples versions of success that we forget to determine our own” Once I realised that everyone is on their path and I’m on mine I came to understand that the only person I should focus on is myself. This has led to an abundance of happiness on my journey through life. I’m now grateful for their success.
Being In A Toxic Relationship
Sometimes in relationships, you feel obliged to stay in them even if it’s painful. When living at home it was toxic and it was a major comfort to me as it was my only home. When I took the courage to move out at 18 and forge my path. I saw my mood change and feeling of freeness from it. If your in any relationship that cant be developed through communication and action. Get out of it now and you will find your happiness in the long term.
Doing A Job You Hate
Sometimes in life, you have to work that job you hate to pay your expenses or to gain experience to better yourself. You might even be in a high paying job but you hate it. The question you have to ask yourself in the long term what’s more important your mental health or your comfortable job that makes you unhappy.
We live in an era where there are many opportunities for you to form a career doing something you love or just enjoy. You just have to look for it. There are even opportunities for you to start your own business. You have control over how you make money. You just need to make it your priority to take a leap of faith. We only live once, why not do something we love.
Get Your Money In Order
What makes people unhappy is when money controls them. This could be debt or low pay that barely breaks even your lifestyle. Anything that stops you from living life to a good standard of living will hold your happiness back. When you don’t have to worry about your expenses, can travel yearly and live in an area you love happiness levels rise drastically. Money can’t necessarily buy you happiness but it can take away a lot of your problems which will make you happier. Having my finances in order allows me to make better choices of how to make my life happier in the process.
Having goals and a vision are important for growth and happiness but when you live in the future. You live with what you don’t have rather than focusing on what you do have. This has been proven to lead to unhappiness. What can change all that is having time throughout your day for when your grateful for what you have in life. Your family, home, food, lifestyle anything that you’re thankful for. This boost happiness leading to less stress and anxiety about what’s to come in life. So remember to focus on the present as much as you strive to move forward to balance it out.
If you can think of more please write them down and search within yourself what makes you unhappy. It’s really important to find out because if you don’t. How are you going to find out what causes your unhappiness to then fix it.
Understanding what makes us unhappy is a topic we all should focus on a lot more. From here we can address problems by finding solutions to make sure we lead a life full of happiness. Who wouldn’t want that life? Guess what? It’s possible, it’s all in your control, you just have to take action to get it.
Make sure you check out the follow-up blog post on 8 ways how to find happiness right now.