Thefuturemindset, Author at The Future Mindset

What To Expect!

Have you ever struggled to get your confidence back? In today’s article, 5 Ways How To Regain Your Confidence after a setback. You will learn strategies that can help you regain your confidence. Also understanding more about why confidence comes and goes. By the end of this article, you should be ready to build your confidence back.

A Story Of Confidence

In life, confidence is everything to attaining success. Whether that be confidence in your own ability or confidence in other people. Our confidence will shape the people will become and the decisions will make.

In my early 20s when I was teaching people how to sell. Confidence was the holy grail for their success. Everyone thinks it’s the pitch you have to say but it’s not. It’s your body language and tone of voice that will win a customer over to your thinking.

When it comes to selling there are subtle signals that create trust between two people and that’s confidence in what you’re saying. Confidence is like a radio signal your either getting a distorted message or a clear message. When training anyone you have to help them to believe in themselves and their message. This is my number 1 priority for them to succeed.

In sport, confidence can be the deciding factor between winning and losing. I have grown up watching some of the best athletes in the world. However when some athletes have had a major setback like an injury or a loss. They have never come back as the same person.

The Rise And Fall Of Fernando Torres

An example I saw was Fernando Torres. A wonder kid in Spain joined Liverpool and was an amazing goal scorer. Any sniff of a chance he would put the ball in the back of the net. A player everyone wanted and world-class he defiantly was.

Then he suffered an injury and the hunger of silverware came calling and surprisingly halfway through the season joined the best team in England. Liverpool’s rivals Chelsea for £50m.

It’s safe to say we never saw the same player again that lit up Liverpool and Spain. The confidence in the man had changed and he never seemed to regain it back until his retirement. The player’s ability hadn’t changed it’s his confidence that changed everything.

Why Confidence Can Be Like A YoYo

The reason why confidence can change at any point is due to circumstances. It could be a change in routine, difficulty levels or something unexpected.

In life, there are many unexpected variables and nothing ever stays the same. One minute we can be top of the world. Then your brain offers up a thought that creates self-doubt and leads the confidence to drop a level.

Our confidence is like a yoyo and there’s nothing we can do to keep confidence at one consistent level forever.

But what can mitigate any setback, is the choices we can make every day. By correcting our thoughts and what we say to ourselves.

Research into neuroplasticity has found that at any age confidence can be changed. So always remember how you feel today doesn’t mean you feel it tomorrow. But having the right habits and mindset in place will always help you find your confidence again.

5 Ways How To Regain Your Confidence After A Setback

1. Become A Student Again

When you lose your confidence in something it’s time to become a student again. Putting your mind in a growth state will allow you to pursue the task you was once confident at with a positive outlook.

For example, people who lose the function of their legs because of an accident have to learn to walk again. If they expect to walk as they used to. It’s not going to happen but if they become a student and learn again how to walk. they will build their confidence where they can walk confidently. Now every case will be different with its own challenges but the quickest way to regain confidence is to shift the mind into growth mode and leave the ego at the door.

2. Start From The Bottom

When regaining confidence it’s important to go back to basics. Too often I have seen people who are coming back from an injury or they changed their lifestyle. Still expect the same results from before.

Unfortunately, you can’t regain your top form or your best mental state with a click of your fingers. It comes from taking the necessary steps to get back there whether that be an hour in your mind or a week of physical practice. Going back to basics and rebuild the foundations to become strong will propel you for confidence.

For example, a boxer who has been unbeaten with a 24 – 0 record is at the peak of their confidence but unexpectedly gets knocked out. They can’t just get in the ring 3 weeks later and expect to be the same person. Their mind and body have changed. It has to be rebuilt and on the way up. They have to grow as a person technically and mentally for the new challenges they will face.

3. Visualise Past Success And Reaffirm

The mind stores all of our victories, mistakes and failures. Too many just look to the past to focus on their mistakes and failures. Not enough however look to the past for their victories, the times when they overcome the impossible. The days when they were the best in their field or when they worked so hard to achieve success.

Regaining confidence is a state of mind and tapping into past victories helps to tell the mind it’s been done before so it can be done again. Gaining the self-belief in yourself that you can achieve the success your after. Whenever I doubt myself I look to my victory list of all the accomplishment I have achieved in my life. This reassures me I am capable and helps me brush aside all doubt from the mind. Create your victory list today and by tapping into this. It will help you to regain your self-worth to propel you to a confident self.

4. Forgive Your Mistakes

A loss of confidence can reshape your whole identity. The frustration of not being the person you once was can be infuriating at best and can lead to self-talk sabotage. This feeling is normal but this will not allow anyone to regain their confidence back. It can only come from positive self talk about your journey back to being confident in your task.

On the way to attaining this outcome, forgiveness has to be on the table. Forgiving your loss of confidence, forgive your mistakes your making, forgiveness for anything that stops you from growing. releasing that pressure on yourself will move you a step closer to your confident state.

5. Surround Yourself With Positive People

If there’s any chance to regain your confidence back. It’s going to come from who you spend the most time with. Whether that’s beloved ones, friends or coaches. If mostly they are negative. Your journey back will be a long process.

Having positive reinforcements and being around uplifting people. Helps to elevate confidence and your own positive thinking.

If you’re serious about regaining confidence. Limiting your exposure to anything negative has to be top of your do list for regaining confidence.

Where To Go From Here

I hope today’s article 5 ways how to regain your confidence after a setback has helped you to understand that confidence is in your control.

There will always be setbacks and failures in life that knock your confidence. Knowing that this will not be forever and you can regain your confidence after a setback. Will give you the untapped potential to live a life you have always wanted. Learn these strategies and apply them if you can. I hope they can help you to regain your confidence again.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset

If you’re struggling with confidence. Don’t worry you’re not alone. Millions of people go through the same experience every day. I hope the article has helped in some way. But if you need extra help or any questions answered you can contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com

Hi I’m Adam

I’ve spent over 10 years coaching and mentoring people within sport and business. I have many life skills that I have developed and I want to pass these skills on so people can find their best self. I believe it all starts in the mind and I write about valuable tools and strategies to help people grow in this area.

What To Expect?

Do you struggle with delaying gratification? In today’s article, why delaying gratification will lead to future success. We will dig deeper through science to why delaying gratification is so successful and how you can train yourself to improve it too. This is a proven way to gain the success you desire and hopefully, you will come away having a clearer picture of how to implement the strategies yourself.

What Is Delayed Gratification?

Delayed gratification is resisting the urge to accept the reward now. For the hope or known outcome of something better in the future.

It’s the ability to discipline one’s mind. To resist all immediate temptation to build momentum for a more desirable outcome.

Delayed Gratification vs Instant Gratification

Delaying or having instant gratification is the root of self-control. We are taught about gratification from a young age unknowingly with the tails of Adam and Eve about the apple incident.

Showing clearly the result of delay vs instant. By eating the apple Adam was told not to eat. He lost the opportunity for eternal paradise. The instant pleasure of something is great in the moment. But if you know there is something better to be had in the future. It’s worth the wait.

Delaying gratification is always the winning hand. It just takes a lot of self-control to stop yourself from the temptation of the now. This is what leads to divorces from cheating spouses or having debt from gambling all their money instead of putting it in an index fund.

Short term happiness does not always lead to the long term happiness you desire. It’s down to the actions we take every day that dictates what our future will look like.

I too have had these decisions to make when studying for an exam. I had the choice to watch the new episode of The Game Of Thrones or study for my exam.

When I choose the former it led to rubbish grades but when I choose the latter I achieved grades I was proud of and I still got to watch The Game Of Thrones.

The Marshmallow Experiment

The famous experiment first coined from the mind of Walter Mischel who wrote a fascinating book self-titled The Marshmallow Effect show’s how delaying gratification is an important skill to learn for future success.

I first saw the experiment on a BBC show growing up. Where a bunch of children were put into a room with one marshmallow.

They were told if they waited for the person to come back and not eat the marshmallow in front of them they would receive 2 marshmallows.

A simple proposition for adults to wait 15 minutes to receive double their return. However, all parents know a child under the age of 7 waiting 15 minutes is like waiting a lifetime.

It was definitely a fun experiment to watch and very funny seeing the children trying to resist. I then watched the same show but the children were now older.

The children who were able to delay gratification in the experiment. Went on to have more successful lives and were psychologically better adjusted, more dependable persons, more self-motivated, and as high school students scored significantly better with grades.

With the latest study conducted on these exact same participants in 2011, the research has shown that the characteristic has remained with the individuals for life.

This study has clearly shown how gratification works and why it’s a much-needed skill to learn when growing up as a child. The study also found that parents who overcontrol their toddlers risk undermining the development of their children’s self-control skills.

While those who support and encourage autonomy in problem-solving efforts. Are likely to maximize their children’s efforts at delaying gratification.

How To Train Yourself To Delay Gratification

Delaying gratification is simply being disciplined with yourself. Choosing the hard choice that will benefit your future vs the easy choice that will benefit the now. Countless studies have shown. When we delay gratification we always get a better outcome that makes us happier overall.

For example, eating chocolate cake might feel good in the short term but if it goes against your goal of losing weight. It’s not going to benefit you. We all have goals where we want outcomes that will be in our favour. For our mental wellbeing, finances, health, relationships or careers are achieved to a greater standard by delaying gratification specifically in those areas.

That’s Why Delaying Gratification Will Lead To Future Success

How you can achieve the success you want in your life is by following the 3 strategies below

Strategy 1: Think Bigger Picture

When making decisions you have to think bigger than today. You have to put yourself further ahead in your mind. If you keep thinking short term you will always make the mistake of choosing the easy. But when you see your future self. You will know it’s worth the temptation of the now for a better tomorrow.

Strategy 2: Promising Something Small And Then Delivering

Training the delay gratification muscle is important. Just like going to the gym, the muscle needs to be constantly used to see progress. How you can do this is by using the techniques of just starting and one more to go (1% growth). When your mind knows it can achieve something easily. The chances of delaying gratification seem a much simpler prospect and defiantly worth it for your mind. Then repeatedly do this over and over again until your brain says, 1) yes, it’s worth it to wait and 2) yes, I have the capability to do this.

Strategy 3: Keep Track Of Your Progress

Knowing yourself is important for being able to delay gratification. If you set yourself a goal of losing weight but you keep at night time eating snacks. You know it’s going to be difficult to succeed at losing weight.

With this information you can plan ahead by disciplining yourself to not eat anything at night, only have water at night to fill the stomach or exercise in the evening to take your mind away. Coming up with strategies to help you better delay gratification is important to maintain discipline over the long term.

Where To Go Now

I hope you enjoyed today’s article, why delaying gratification will lead to future success. By knowing that delaying gratification is paramount to success and long term happiness. We have to make choices today that will benefit our future self.

By thinking long term you can then plan in the short term. Training and mentally preparing your mind for what’s to come and how easily you can achieve it will help you develop your delaying gratification muscle.

Hi I’m Adam