Today’s article is a challenge I set myself of not speaking for a day in order to understand more about a habit I have in my life that I have little conscious thought over. After reading Dr Joe Dispenza book Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself. It opened my mind to whether the body is controlling my mind or is my mind controlling the body. When it comes to speaking when I’m in a professional setting my mind controls the body. But when I’m at home where I feel utmost comfortability my body controls my mind with automatic responses.
I have reviewed this and I would very much like to have the mind in control of the body within my home life. So I plan to go 24 hours without speaking at home. To analyse and be conscious of the thought patterns and responses I’m experiencing.
When The Mouth Controls The Mind
The reason why this is important to understand. Is when the mind controls the body it means that you have full consciousness over the decisions you make. Now every decision doesn’t need you to be present like breathing or healing of the body. But I do believe thoughts do. As our thoughts will shape our lives for good or bad.
This challenge of not speaking for a day came about because I want to have a great relationship with my family and don’t pass on any trauma to them. For example, I was noticing my frustrations with my children coming out within my speech and having petty arguments about things that don’t matter with my wife.
To continue and build any strong relationship it’s forged on communication.
When anyone gets comfortable in a relationship then we all tend to revert to autopilot and in a relationship with a partner. The actions you took on the honeymoon stage can soon wear off.
I’m very conscious of this as my parents fell victim to poor communication. I understand that this is a problem a lot of couple are facing with divorce rates at record highs.
Letting The Family Know
Of course, when I let my family know what I was planning to do they initially thought this was pretty strange like you reading might think too. But when they understood my reasons why. They came around to the idea. Unfortunately, my 2-year-old did not get the memo and was my biggest enemy throughout the whole challenge.
What I Learnt
So after 24 hours of this challenge, I learnt quite a lot about myself. But there was 2 major things that I will share that maybe can help you to understand yourself better.
How Reactive I Wanted To Be
The reason why humans are different from our closest ancestors Gorillas and Chimpanzees is that we have developed less reactive responses. As good as this is, we can definitely be triggered into reactive verbal responses.
Throughout the challenge, my 2-year-old did just that. The start of the day and the afternoon was great but by the evening as my defences are coming down and tiredness seeping through. I was succumbed to speak.
In life with unexpected events or small children for sure. Being reactive can be like a reflex of catching a ball. When reviewing our reactiveness with our past. You will find common similarities with parents or anyone who has had a great influence on you with their traits. I think my reactive traits definitely come from my parents. Especially my mother who is headstrong with Irish blood running through her veins. Often speaks without thinking when challenged or under pressure. This can get you into trouble in the long run.
This tendency to react in the household can disrupt the environment. So I plan moving forward to be more conscious of when I’m getting frustrated, stressed or angry to not give in to these emotions but to take a step back and breathe. To then go into the conversation without red mist and speak from conscious thought, not reactive habits.
The Importance of Showing Kindness In Your Speech
How To Win Friends And Influence people had a major impact on my life in my early 20s. There were many traits I needed to banish and develop in order to be an effective communicator.
Especially on my coaching side, I have learned that people don’t like the tough love approach and in the long run, will hate you for it even if it gets results. I noticed I was doing this with my own son when it came to his education.
By practising silence, I got see him from a different point of view. He was trying his best and reminding myself he’s just 8 years old. Whether he gets it today or gets it tomorrow it doesn’t matter if he resents my efforts to help him. Speaking with kindness and practising patience is a form of communication that will go a long way with the development of a child and forging a strong relationship in the process.
Overall
This was a tough challenge. Being able to speak is something we all take for granted. I have much respect for people who are deaf and have to communicate with a world that doesn’t know their language. But I believe after doing this challenge everyone should review their speech and what they say. Then ask yourself, is what I’m saying actually helping people and spreading joy or is doing the opposite? Only you will know this.
Going forward I will monitor my speech once a month making sure my mind is controlling my body and not the body controlling the mind.
This challenge has definitely helped me. I hope in some way this can help you.
Please don’t forget to like, share and comment It means a lot to know if this has resonated with you.
A Final Word From The Future Mindset
I hope you enjoyed today’s article How To Take Back Control Of Your Thoughts By Not Speaking For A Day. I hope the article has helped in some way.
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