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Future Habits Future Performance

Why Delaying Gratification Will Lead To Future Success

What To Expect? 

Do you struggle with delaying gratification? In today’s article, why delaying gratification will lead to future success. We will dig deeper through science to why delaying gratification is so successful and how you can train yourself to improve it too. This is a proven way to gain the success you desire and hopefully, you will come away having a clearer picture of how to implement the strategies yourself.

What Is Delayed Gratification?

Why Delaying Gratification Will Lead To Future Success

Delayed gratification is resisting the urge to accept the reward now. For the hope or known outcome of something better in the future.

It’s the ability to discipline one’s mind. To resist all immediate temptation to build momentum for a more desirable outcome.

Delayed Gratification vs Instant Gratification

Delaying or having instant gratification is the root of self-control. We are taught about gratification from a young age unknowingly with the tails of Adam and Eve about the apple incident.

Showing clearly the result of delay vs instant. By eating the apple Adam was told not to eat. He lost the opportunity for eternal paradise. The instant pleasure of something is great in the moment. But if you know there is something better to be had in the future. It’s worth the wait.

Delaying gratification is always the winning hand. It just takes a lot of self-control to stop yourself from the temptation of the now. This is what leads to divorces from cheating spouses or having debt from gambling all their money instead of putting it in an index fund.

Short term happiness does not always lead to the long term happiness you desire. It’s down to the actions we take every day that dictates what our future will look like.

I too have had these decisions to make when studying for an exam. I had the choice to watch the new episode of The Game Of Thrones or study for my exam.

When I choose the former it led to rubbish grades but when I choose the latter I achieved grades I was proud of and I still got to watch The Game Of Thrones.

The Marshmallow Experiment

The famous experiment first coined from the mind of Walter Mischel who wrote a fascinating book self-titled The Marshmallow Effect show’s how delaying gratification is an important skill to learn for future success.

I first saw the experiment on a BBC show growing up. Where a bunch of children were put into a room with one marshmallow.

They were told if they waited for the person to come back and not eat the marshmallow in front of them they would receive 2 marshmallows.

A simple proposition for adults to wait 15 minutes to receive double their return. However, all parents know a child under the age of 7 waiting 15 minutes is like waiting a lifetime.

It was definitely a fun experiment to watch and very funny seeing the children trying to resist. I then watched the same show but the children were now older.

The children who were able to delay gratification in the experiment. Went on to have more successful lives and were psychologically better adjusted, more dependable persons, more self-motivated, and as high school students scored significantly better with grades.

With the latest study conducted on these exact same participants in 2011, the research has shown that the characteristic has remained with the individuals for life.

This study has clearly shown how gratification works and why it’s a much-needed skill to learn when growing up as a child. The study also found that parents who overcontrol their toddlers risk undermining the development of their children’s self-control skills.

While those who support and encourage autonomy in problem-solving efforts. Are likely to maximize their children’s efforts at delaying gratification.


How To Train Yourself To Delay Gratification

Delaying gratification is simply being disciplined with yourself. Choosing the hard choice that will benefit your future vs the easy choice that will benefit the now. Countless studies have shown. When we delay gratification we always get a better outcome that makes us happier overall.

For example, eating chocolate cake might feel good in the short term but if it goes against your goal of losing weight. It’s not going to benefit you. We all have goals where we want outcomes that will be in our favour. For our mental wellbeing, finances, health, relationships or careers are achieved to a greater standard by delaying gratification specifically in those areas.

That’s Why Delaying Gratification Will Lead To Future Success

How you can achieve the success you want in your life is by following the 3 strategies below

Strategy 1: Think Bigger Picture

When making decisions you have to think bigger than today. You have to put yourself further ahead in your mind. If you keep thinking short term you will always make the mistake of choosing the easy. But when you see your future self. You will know it’s worth the temptation of the now for a better tomorrow.

Strategy 2: Promising Something Small And Then Delivering

Training the delay gratification muscle is important. Just like going to the gym, the muscle needs to be constantly used to see progress. How you can do this is by using the techniques of just starting and one more to go (1% growth). When your mind knows it can achieve something easily. The chances of delaying gratification seem a much simpler prospect and defiantly worth it for your mind. Then repeatedly do this over and over again until your brain says, 1) yes, it’s worth it to wait and 2) yes, I have the capability to do this.

Strategy 3: Keep Track Of Your Progress

Knowing yourself is important for being able to delay gratification. If you set yourself a goal of losing weight but you keep at night time eating snacks. You know it’s going to be difficult to succeed at losing weight.

With this information you can plan ahead by disciplining yourself to not eat anything at night, only have water at night to fill the stomach or exercise in the evening to take your mind away. Coming up with strategies to help you better delay gratification is important to maintain discipline over the long term.

Where To Go Now

I hope you enjoyed today’s article, why delaying gratification will lead to future success. By knowing that delaying gratification is paramount to success and long term happiness. We have to make choices today that will benefit our future self.

By thinking long term you can then plan in the short term. Training and mentally preparing your mind for what’s to come and how easily you can achieve it will help you develop your delaying gratification muscle.

Hi I'm Adam
Hi I’m Adam

I’ve spent over 10 years coaching and mentoring people within sport and business. I have many life skills that I have developed and I want to pass these skills on so people can find their best self. I believe it all starts in the mind and I write about valuable tools and strategies to help people grow in this area.

Categories
Future Habits Future Wellbeing

5 Ways To Overcome The Mind When It Dwells On Failure

What To Expect?

Do you ever dwell on your failures? In today’s article, 5 ways to overcome the mind when it dwells on failure. Is to help anyone who deals with failure which is in fact, everyone. Learn how to control it with simple techniques anyone can do. Failure is a part of life and when we accept this, then the mind can overcome the failure by learning from it and fighting back to win again. Building mental strength in this area is so important for future growth.

Finding It Hard To Overcome Failure In The Mind?

5 Ways To Overcome The Mind When It Dwells On Failure

Don’t worry your not the only one. Of course, no one likes failure. It’s a painful experience especially when you have put in so much effort to come up short. Everyone’s failures are unique to them but there is a difference between people who are successful and people who are not and it’s how they deal with failure. How we deal with failure says a lot about our character and whether or not we are overcoming our failures.

I have found it hard to deal with failures. When it’s a failure I can immediately try again straightway like a sales rejection or a loss on a FIFA 21 I can take that in my stride. But when it’s a failure I have to wait to try again or it takes a long time to achieve I found it much more difficult to deal with until I learned how to.

Dealing with failure badly can come from the social pressure we face. No one wants to look bad in front of people. But unfortunately, we live in a society that pounces on failure and makes you relive it again and again. This is something that we all need to give up. Caring about what people think about our failures.

For the mind to be strong we need to make our failures our own. Owning the battle scars of battle, the epic story we have to tell others or the opportunity to be a real-life superhero for a chance to rise up again.

How we think about something is important, how we think about our failures is near the top of that list. This will be the difference between whether we fight back or stay knocked down. What would you rather do?

What Happens If Failure Controls Your Life?

When we can’t deal with failure it will start to ruin our mental health, relationships and progression in life. The negative effects are huge if you live in your failure. You will become sick, your body we start to have less energy and your mind will feel heavy. This is from personal experience and it’s not a place you want to be.

Dealing with failure is a skill that anyone can learn. But we are not taught this in school. We only learn this if we are lucky from parents and coaches or the hard way. Too many people who have failed think such negative thoughts, that they’re a loser, they’re not good enough etc. But if you could teach yourself to always find the positive in difficult moments you would be able to deal with any failure that comes your way.

By changing how you talk to yourself. Words are powerful, it can move people into action for good or bad. The words you speak to yourself are just as important if not more. When you fail tell yourself instead I’m going to win next time, I am good enough to solve this problem. This will send your brain on a different path. A path that’s good for all parts of your life.

How To Overcome Failure And Achieve Success

We have to treat failure like a message. A message we receive to let us know this isn’t the right way to do it. A message that lets us know there’s a better way we have to pursue to gain our success. I’ve watched Manchester City a football club in England attempt to reach the champions league final.

For 10 years they have tried. First getting knocked out at the group stages for two years. Then the last 16 and quarter-finals. Now the final. By learning and adapting from our failures whether that be in the mind, our skillset or our strategy. This is when we can achieve success on a consistent basis.

5 Ways To Overcome The Mind When It Dwells On Failure

1. Find Inner Peace

Finding your inner peace is crucial to helping the mind when dealing with failure. When failure hits it can be a crushing feeling, you know how it feels yourself. Letting that foster only leads to more chaos but finding a way to deal with failure inwardly is a necessary step to move forward from failure.

A technique that has helped when I fail is to forgive myself and others who are part of the failure. This is great for letting go of all the negative emotions that come with failure. By taking time to sit with your thoughts and put them on paper not only release the negative energy but also contributes to solutions to move forward.

2. Look At The Big Picture

The emotion of failure is unique to everyone. What means something to you might not mean something to someone else.

I have had failures in my life where now I look upon them and laugh at how I reacted at that moment as it wasn’t that big of a problem looking in on the experience. As the saying goes if won’t affect you in 5 years time, it’s something we shouldn’t worry about in the present.

Time will always pass and what is now will not always be. Having this mindset allows me not to dwell in my present failures but look from the perspective of the photographer or video director on your failure and you will get a completely different outlook on failure.

3. Have A Pre- Emptive Habit

What I have learned through experience is to be prepared for failure. Understanding it will come allows the mind to be prepared for the eventuality of failure. I understand when parenting I’m going to mess up sometimes or when I start a business one of them might fail.

This mindset has helped when failure has occurred and has become less of a shock when it does. Expecting to win and succeed is great but understanding winning and success is like war, some battles will be lost along the way. This mentality will help with inner peace and thinking big picture about your failures.

4. Block Out The External Noise

Failure can be even deadlier when others look down upon your failure. This can hurt a lot for the mind. What truly makes you mentally strong and take every failure in your stride is blocking out all external negativity or having a wall so strong that it does not get through. Your failures are yours. Yours alone. Taking responsibility for your failures. Will go a long way for you not to fear failure and take it on the chin when it comes along.

By training your internal voice to be a positive one by creating an alter ego of a coach you admire. To delegate the task of helping you recover from failure in your stride. Will help you be in full control.

5. Learn From Your Failures

The most important of all is learning from your failures. Making the same failures, again and again, can be a painful reminder of not learning from your failures. Having time to sit down to analyse what went right and what went wrong will help to find solutions.

By networking with your findings it will help you to understand better what to do next. Having a toddler brain for learning is crucial. When a toddler falls down, or can’t say the right words, they find solutions, they persist and through learning from their failure they always overcome the challenge that’s in front of them.

Learning from your failures is how you will deal with your failures and this is what keeps the mind from dwelling on failure.

Over To You

I hope you enjoyed today’s article, 5 ways to overcome the mind when it dwells on failure. Knowing that failure is not permanent but it’s a part of life can help you overcome any failure that comes your way. Practice the techniques above and I’m sure you will able to move on from failure much faster than before.

Hi I'm Adam
Hi I’m Adam

I’ve spent over 10 years coaching and mentoring people within sport and business. I have many life skills that I have developed and I want to pass these skills on so people can find their best self. I believe it all starts in the mind and I write about valuable tools and strategies to help people grow in this area.