Mindset Toolkit – Forgiveness
The foundation of having a mindset that can benefit your life is built on forgiveness. When we learn to forgive as a practice. This is when we can let go of the anchors of the past that hold us back in life.
We all have times when we have let our-self down or others we have relied on have to. When we hold onto the negative emotions of wrongdoings. It creates bitterness, an invisible weight that can get heavier and heavier to carry as time goes on.
I’ve seen and experienced this first hand. It’s not pretty to watch or feel. The unseen destruction it can do to your mental health that reflects your overall health is clear. The way it latches on like a leech sucking your mental health dry is a weight too hard to carry.
For all the pain of when we don’t practice forgiveness of others and self-forgiveness. There is hope if we learn to forgive.
I too myself have had a mindset awakening when I took on the practice of forgiveness. It changed my life.
There Are Levels Of Forgiveness
There are countless stories told about forgiveness. The most famous one I can think of is the story of Jesus dying on the cross to forgive the sins of all mankind. In modern times there are stories of parents forgiving the murderers of their child which can be seen as level 10 forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a personal experience and cannot be forced upon. It’s a path you have to walk alone and will take courage to find your way out.
In my own life, I have battled against my mistakes and failures. Holding myself to account for standards that are unwarranted. This has led to days, weeks and months of negative feelings because I couldn’t forgive myself for being human. This is known as a fixed mindset. Where pain and suffering occur from a lack of a growth mindset.
You will too have your own stories of pain in your life. Some simple to forgive and others it will take more effort to come to terms with. A good article I read on 5 different levels of forgiveness can be of some help.
When you can find it within yourself to forgive. Only then will you have a release from the torment of the mind.
How To Practice Self-Forgiveness
Practising self-forgiveness to make it a habit has to be performed on a daily or weekly basis depending on your lifestyle. Before you get to that point there has to be a beginning. This journey is somewhat similar to an Australian Aboriginal walkabout. Where you find yourself.
This has to be done alone with no distraction. This will be a time where you can write down, video or record your life experiences that need forgiving. You need to look back in the memory bank as far back as you can. Here you will find the invincible weight that has been weighing you down in life.
I personally forgive myself for being abandoned by my biological father and I forgave myself for not revising for my failed exams. When you’re going through your life’s memories some will harder to deal with than others. If you start crying you’re doing something right. Your starting to let go of your pain. This exercise could take an hour or it could take days. By the end of it, you feel light as a feather and free at last of the pasts pain.
To maintain this you have to practice self-forgiveness regularly to combat any unforeseen negative feelings that can hold you back.
This is an exercise that has changed my mental approach to life. Where now I care less about mistakes and failures. But care more about trying it again with a different approach. I face my fears more without worry about failing. It’s a refreshing approach to life that has led to my own mental health has become happier and a feeling of freedom.
How To Learn To Forgive Others
Forgiving others can be hard sometimes depending on what they have done to you. But holding long-term grudges over people does no good for your mental health. When it comes to forgiving others you have to become selfish. This is a purely selfish act for your benefit not there’s.
If you get into an argument with someone and after you have cooled down. You should look to find ways to forgive that person whether it be they don’t know any better, having a bad day or it was a breakdown in communication. Whatever it is find it because when you do you can move on.
There is a story of a mum and a son. They have two completely different points of view on life and yet again they came to an almighty argument where they never spoke to each other for years. Months after the argument. The son set his boundaries between himself and his mum but learned to forgive his mother for all her actions against him. On the other hand, his mum didn’t forgive or reach out to her son. This led to years of pain for the mom where her mental health was heavily affected by this event.
Over the course of the 4 years the person who chose to forgive led a happier life compared to the person who did not forgive.
The moral of the story is that no matter what happens to you in your life where forgiveness seems impossible. You have to be selfish in your endeavour to find it because if you do not you put your health at risk.
PLEASE COMMENT AND SHARE YOUR STORIES
Has this helped you today? Are you more inclined to focus on forgiveness. I would love to hear your thoughts and your experiences with dealing with forgiveness. Always remember your not alone and everything can change.
A Final Word From The Future Mindset
I hope you enjoyed today’s article Why Learning To Forgive Has To Be Part Of Your Self-Care Routine. Don’t worry you’re not alone. Millions of people go through the same experience every day. I hope the article has helped in some way. If you need extra help or any questions answered. Don’t hesitate to contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com
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