Categories
Future Leadership

How Your Mindset Can Unlock Better Communication

What To Expect!

In today’s article, we will discuss How Your Mindset Can Unlock Better Communication. You will learn how to apply simple strategies to boost your communication skills. Also discussing how the mindset towards a conversation is important for a positive outcome.

I became an expert in communication through over hundreds of hours selling, interviewing, coaching people. I then came up with strategies through trial and error to be the most effective.

How to make a great first Impression

How Your Mindset Can Unlock Better Communication

Meeting new people can sometimes be awkward with thoughts like, what should I say, will they like me etc. Growing up I was an introverted character whose thought of meeting new people was very uncomfortable. I didn’t like the interaction because I was never taught how to interact confidently. My Mum, on the other hand, was amazing at it, always making people feel comfortable and laugh as well.

Up until I was 23 this was a challenge for me. If I was talking to girls I would need a bit of Dutch confidence. When I met new people I was more the quiet listener in the group. It always took me a while to come out of my shell. No matter how hard I tried, I never nailed the great first impression. The reason why is because I never had a strategy of putting this into practice.

What I’m going to cover next are the strategies I learned how to conquer your communication to create an immediate connection with another human. This has changed my life when meeting new people and has created many opportunities I have now in my life. So I hope this can help you too. Especially if you find it hard as I did to make conversations with strangers.

Why mindset towards a conversation matters

When communicating with someone for the first time you have to have the right mindset going into it. Without it, nothing I will teach you below will work. If you’re pessimistic towards it or if you’re self-loathing it simply won’t work to the standard we are looking for.

Instead, you have to believe that it will work because first impressions matter. You have to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about them. When the person in front of you feels respected, cared for, heard or they feel excited by your interaction, it matters to them. So every conversation you go into – you need to believe it’s going to be a positive interaction.

When communicating with them you have to focus on them, not on you, that’s how connections are built. Have you ever been communicating with someone who just talks about themselves compared to someone who listens to you?

There’s a difference right and that’s why it’s important to learn how to conquer your communication skills so you’re not doing the over talking.

What are they thinking?

When speaking to anyone new for the first time they are thinking three things.

  1. What they were doing before and whether that’s more important than speaking to you.
  2. Who you are.
  3. Where’s this conversation going.

If you can get the person to focus on you and enjoy speaking to you. Then the rest of the conversation will be a lot easier to have a positive interaction.

The difference between someone you was expecting vs someone you was not

Have a good indication of what to expect on your first greeting as that is super important. This stops any embarrassing engagement from happening. I’ve been embarrassed a few times when it comes to greetings. One example that stands out was when I went up to someone to ask for something.

I awkwardly put out my hand as you would do with a friend that you know. Well, he looked at me like I was some dirt on the ground and left my hand, yes my hand in mid-air floating.

I completely misread the situation but learned when meeting people that are not expecting you. Keep your body parts to yourself until you have read the situation first. (Don’t worry the hand has fully recovered, just.)

Another example when I was doing sales and I was trying to build rapport with a customer. Early on in the conversation I saw an opening, the lady had a bump and I asked: “When are you expecting?”

The response I was expecting was like 2 months, she said “I’m not pregnant” At that moment my whole body was in shock, then we both knew I f****d up and then the awkward departure quickly came.

Reading the conversation is super important when someone is expecting you, you have a bit of trust to play with and their guard is slightly down but when someone is not expecting you their guard is up. So whatever you do just keep it short and sweet. Don’t get too personal with them. Just get them to like you.

Action Tool kit

  • Body Language
  • Smile
  • Eye-contact
  • Tone
  • Give them your name
  • Get on their level
  • Make them laugh
  • Don’t waffle
  • Practice

The most important way to harness your action tool kit is to practice, practice, practice. This is the sure-fire way to get positive results. We are all at different levels of communication skills.

I wasn’t that high up but after hours of practising, I’ve become a great communicator. All because, yes you guessed it, I practised.

Will it be nerve-racking? YES.

Will you make a mistake?

Most likely.

That’s just how we grow as a human and the more grit you can show, you will become a great communicator. Because it’s not a born trait, it’s a learnt trait.

Conclusion

Hopefully, now you understand a bit more of what it takes to conquer your communication. When you get your mindset right then you can think about the person in front of you.

Through practice, you will eventually find patterns and pitfalls you can avoid. The enjoyment of positive interaction with another human is a clear indication that what you’re doing is working.

When we all become great communicators, that’s when our lives can move forward in the direction we want to go. It will not hold us back from our potential.

Please leave a comment for today’s article How Your Mindset Can Unlock Better Communication. We are here to help on your mindset journey to develop better communication skills.

Hi I'm Adam
Hi I’m Adam

I’ve spent over 10 years coaching and mentoring people within sport and business. I have many life skills that I have developed and I want to pass these skills on so people can find their best self. I believe it all starts in the mind and I write about valuable tools and strategies to help people grow in this area.

Categories
Future Wellbeing

What’s Your Limiting Beliefs?

Whats the anchor holding you back

What are limiting beliefs?

They are thoughts you process you believe are true. But in fact, that’s far from the truth. As someone with the same circumstances, who believes the opposite, can get a completely different outcome. Do you know what your limiting beliefs are?

For example, if you was born in a small town and lived in that small town your whole life. Amongst people who did the same as you. You would only get a view of the world in one way. Compared to someone who has travelled the world and lived amongst different cultures, will have a completely different viewpoint of the world.

This is also the case when it comes to information. If we just listened to our parent’s viewpoints we would just be a carbon copy as they are. Whether they are right or wrong.

This is one reason why people have certain viewpoints about different cultures, races of people or a women’s role in society. The reason being their limiting beliefs and viewpoints – are of the people they surround themselves with. Based on their prejudices.

These people have normally never been outside of their home town, country or social groups. Then they give you false advice without experiencing it themselves.

For myself, when I said I’m going to open my own business. I was told: “that’s a bit risky, why don’t you go get a safe secure job”. I also had people telling me I can’t do certain things because of my age and experience. Both were completely false statements as I achieved both.

We as humans have a certain outlook on life. That’s down to who we associate with. For safety and comfortability of the tribe, we tend to agree with their viewpoints. But we don’t need to live like this any more and we need to question what people say. Is it their own limiting beliefs, or something of fact.

If you tell a child, again and again that he/she is useless, guess what, they have a high chance of growing up thinking they are useless. The damage that can bring to their life is huge.

Growing up I was told rich people are bad/greedy or their Mum and Dad was rich so that’s why they are. How would this make you feel if you were a child hearing this? I thought to be rich was for the special few, born lucky or did bad things to get their wealth. Luckily through my education and better social circles and living life. I grew to find that these statements are completely false. Every one of us has limiting beliefs but which ones are holding us back. Below i am sharing an action list you can do right now. This can help you banish them out of your life for good.

Open the cage on your limiting beliefs

1. First, you need to write down where in your life you are unhappy?

It could be your finances, job progression, relationships, parenting, management, anything you can think of.

2. Then write down what’s your beliefs are when it comes to these topics and how are they holding you back?

For example, do you think only academically smart people are rich? Only good looking people progress or criticising your employees will help them respect you? All are false. So pick a topic and write down the beliefs you’ve learned over your life that’s is holding you back.

3. Write down a new list of beliefs that are known to be true and proven. To help you overcome these challenges you face. For example….

If you say “I can’t” a lot, start saying “how can I do this”.

When you say things like “I can never find love” change it to “I will find love.”

If you say “I’m not talented” find one thing you are good at without comparison and praise yourself for that. The list can go on.

4. Stay Vigilant

This is very important. As old habits can creep back and your subconscious mind might allow these limiting beliefs to seep through when you least expect it or when in a high emotional state.

This is normal, just be conscious of it. As this is the best strategy for changing yourself to think more positively. You are now aware of what you want and don’t want, so take action and change it.

To Conclude

The main thing to remember is what you thought was true yesterday might not be the case today. If you are a person who wants to change and grow, question what you believe. Try and research, read books and find mentors who are where you want to be in life. Then you will adopt new thinking that can help you achieve the goals you want. For example, if you get the best sports team vs lowest-ranked sports team, you will find different beliefs cultures.

So you have to ask yourself which team do you want to be a part of. More importantly what life do you want to live?