Future Men Archives - Page 2 of 2

How The Perception Of Being A Man Is All Wrong

Since a young boy, I have watched films with male lead characters that have inspired me to be more like them. From Maximus Aurelius in Gladiator to Batman himself in Christopher Nolan epic trilogy. Both command a strong, fearless warrior with bravery and courage. Characteristics any man would want to uphold. But these stereotypes of what men should be. Is accumulating in the perception of being a man to be like Leonidus of Sparta in a modern world.

As far back as history can go humans and men especially. Have contested in tribal battles and global warfare. This creates a certain type of man. All the films I’ve disclosed above have male lead characters perfectly designed for battle-hardened men.

In the 21st century, we now live in a world of relative peace where our old male stereotype is not needed. We can take the positive characters and use them in business and sports but there is a new layer that needs implementing. A part of us that can express our feelings without being called demeaning words that put men right back in their shells.

The courage you see from these characters in films needs to be used to create a new man. That is strong but vulnerable. A man who leads from the front but is also open to receiving help. A man who sees his fellow women as equal not someone he has to provide for.

A New World

Men are entering a new world and the role they once had is becoming the past. Some will look back to the good old times of male toughness, stoicism and being a non-emotional man. When little do they know the negative side effects that their fellow man has to go through. Has great consequences on their mental health.

So today will discuss what changes men can make to create a healthy mindset. Without losing their identity of being a man.

Creating A Healthy Mindset

Like any major change from the norm. It will face pushback and difficulty. For it to succeed it takes courage, leadership and a mindset to persevere.

If I compared myself from when I was a young boy to now. I’m definitely living with a healthier mindset of what it means to be a man. But there are still times when I think I shouldn’t cry or I shouldn’t let anyone know my problems from the fret that isn’t a very man-like thing to do.

Of course, it’s ridiculous but these are feelings men feel on a daily basis. Habits are definitely passed down from generations but all it takes is one person to break away from the old ways. Thanks to the internet there are amazing people speaking openly about what men go through and how to make a positive change like mantalks and humenorg.

What Change Can We Make Today

Speak Up

I was the first person in my family to ever go to university. Like many these days, young people are changing their family trees into better financial situations. Being the first to take action takes courage but also can create change.

By creating a safe space for men to talk openly without ridicule from other men is the first place to start. You have to understand that when other men say things and you get a male response that’s negative. It Isn’t their words, it’s the words and thoughts they have been taught. This does not mean they believe or want to be macho male type deep down. It is just a reactive habit.

But nothing will change if no one takes action to change. So as painful as it is. Speaking up and allowing no judgement on your behalf when other men want to open up. It will go a long way in creating trust and shaping men in the modern world.

Be The Man You Want To Be

There is no e way to should act. The only focus you should have is being the man you want to be. Listening to your gut and what makes you happier in life he focus. If you want to cry when watching a film do it. You want to express how you feel openly do it. If you want to do ballet or any perceived non-manly sport do it. There is no written formula for how you should live your life. Forget peoples judgement of your external choices that go against the grain. Just focus on your internal mindset by developing your mindset towards positive character traits of love, kindness, gratitude, trustworthy and the list can go on. This is what you can control the rest is up to everyone else.

It’s Normal To Have Feelings

Men expressing their feelings is stereotyped as some sought of weakness in society. Men expressing how they feel openly shows vulnerability and courage.

This is a positive trait and only people who look their nose down upon anyone doing this. Only wish they could be like you. They too have feelings and instead of showing the courage to express them, they would rather move the attention away from you.

It’s a man-made idea that men shouldn’t express their feelings. Now how you express your feelings is unique to every individual.

As a man, I like to express my feeling with writing. I put all my feelings on paper and learn how to deal with problems, forgiveness and sometimes nothing at all. You have to understand feeling is energy that needs to escape. Instead of bottling them up to explode out of control, I transfer them onto paper. I only express the emotions from the paper to the real world of my choosing.

There are many ways like speaking to someone you can trust or seeking professional help.

Whatever your way is, knowing that having emotions and expressing emotions is normal.

To Conclude

I definitely don’t have all the answers and I’m on my own journey into developing a healthy male mindset. I open up the discussion thoughts or practical actions to better equip men. I’m more than open too.

Please don’t forget to like, share and comment It means a lot to know if this has resonated with you.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset

I hope you enjoyed today’s article How The Perception Of Being A Man Is All Wrong. I hope the article has helped in some way.

If you want to take your mindset to the next level how about scheduling a 30-min discovery session to chat about your current status, results you want, and next steps. Don’t hesitate to contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com

We are on social media platforms below but we are really excited to announce our weekly newsletter about everything mindset. Sign up below and enjoy the process of building your mental strength.

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The Epidemic Of Male Loneliness And How To Solve It — Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

In the not too distant past. Humans were part of tight-nit communities that hunted together, raised children together and defended their lands together. Loneliness must have been alien.

Even as recently as half a century ago. Living in a village or town where you would work and live with your childhood friends was commonplace. A sense of community and brotherhood were the norm.

Today however the rise of huge metropolitan cities where opportunities to further your career outside of your home town is commonplace. Surrounded by millions of people you would think loneliness was impossible but in fact, it is all too apparent in today’s world.

Studies have found there is a serious problem within the male population that needs to be addressed promptly or face an epidemic of huge proportions. This is the very reason for this article to help you on your pathway out of loneliness.

The Feeling Of Lonilness

Whether we like it or not. Humans are wired for community and a sense of belonging. From a biological standpoint, a community offers safety, comfort and reproduction. Something we can easily take for granted from friendships forged in childhood.

In Men’s health, I read an article that described loneliness as being the same as hunger. A perfect outlook on the effect loneliness can have on an individual. You can imagine when you’re hungry/thirsty for food or water how horrible and uncomfortable it can be. The reason we feel this is because it’s a must to survive. That’s why treating loneliness, in the same way, is vital to understanding and finding ways to overcome loneliness at all costs.

To back up the notion that overcoming loneliness is important. Studies researched the patients who were seriously ill in hospital and the effects of their family being beside them compared to the patient having no family. The results showed unanimously that having a family with you saves lives. This is majorly concerning with covid pandemic that family members can not be by the side of their loved one’s recovery.

My Account Of Loneliness

I too have experienced loneliness. The memories that come to mind was my first semester at university. Away from home for the first time, zero friends and alone. The second time I felt this strongly again was upon leaving university and with no home to go back to. I was officially on my own, uni friends have all gone home and an end of tenancy looming. This was an incredibly lonely time with not much support insight.

But the most lonely I have ever felt was in 2018 in a business I didn’t want to be in, in serious debt and my family living hundreds of miles away. The feeling of being alone was unbearable and when it’s mixed with other factors it can feel like there’s not much point carrying on.

But there is hope. Because with every feeling it can come and go. It’s not finite but changeable and I’m grateful to say I had people in my life that came to the rescue, to save me from my loneliness.

That’s why friendships and relationships are important parts of our lives and should be cherished and sought after. Without people in our life to share and experience the good and the bad of life. What’s the point. I cherish my children with all my heart and set an oath that no matter where they are in life or the world I will be there in one way or another being by their side. I would never want my children to ever feel loneliness like I felt as it truly is a horrible feeling.

The Male Condition

Men, in particular, are suffering from loneliness and is on a far larger scale compared to our female counterparts. The reason being is that men are not as open about how they feel. The very idea of men have to be strong is installed into every male boy and adolescent as they grow up.

But what does being strong actually mean?

For me, it meant keeping my feelings inside and keeping all my problems for me to deal with. I have grown to understand what poor advice this was and how when it comes to loneliness majorly affects the building of new relationships.

Men, therefore, tend not to open up to new people as readily and the idea of expressing their deep feelings will be kept inside in case of ridicule.

This way of thinking has to be in the past. If we compared men from today with men after WW2 then I would say we are more open-minded in expressing our feelings. But we are nowhere near the point where we can say expressing your feeling to another man is normal. With the male stereotypes still being ever-present and the lack of support in social change is still very much needed.

We Need Change

That’s why men need to come together and understand we aren’t that different from females. We have feelings too and they need to be expressed. Maybe not in the way females do it but in a new way that is acceptable. Below I will try and discuss ways in which we can solve this problem as a male population but also on an individual basis as well.

This is important because the rate of male suicides is on the rise, the rise of men suffering from depression is on the rise. This has to stop and solving the male loneliness epidemic is a great place to start.

How To Solve Male Lonilness

First and foremost if you are suffering from loneliness you must understand that this isn’t just you. In fact, you are not alone in how your feeling or weird for doing so. Unfortunately millions of people around the world are feeling the exact same as you.

The way out of loneliness is being honest with yourself and finding actual solutions that can help find meaningful connections again.

Through research and personal experience below are ways in which you can overcome loneliness.

Open Space To Talk About How You Feel

When it comes to discussing feelings as a man this can be challenging. Especially as it goes against the male stereotype. But finding open spaces where you can speak freely is important for your mental health. This can be in a 1-1 session with relationship coaches or therapists. It can even be

Male Time

Having quality male time is a great help for helping with feelings of loneliness. When men are together they can be playful, speak a common language and have a sense of camaraderie. Due to family commitments and moving around. Spending time with my male friends has been difficult. But my arranging meetups, adventure weekends or

Having male time not only helps with loneliness but acts as stress relief and a brain booster (must be all the banter). Studies have proved and show the importance male actually has on our personal wellbeing.

So arrange to meet up with male friends weekly, monthly or at a special time in the year when you can all get together.

Create A Safe Space For Other Men

As we touched on earlier that talking about our deeper feelings can be tricky amongst other men. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. As men, we can have a stone wall up for this kind of thing. But like every stone wall in can be knocked down. That person to dit could be you by creating a safe space when other men can talk about their feeling with ridicule.

This will take courage on your part by being the first but deep down when taking away all the layers of protective armour. We are all human and having a safe space to talking about loneliness and or deeper feelings in the right setting can be a great thing.

There Is Someone Waiting For You

Whether you’re alone because of a lack of relationship or you just moved to New York on your own and haven’t made friends for weeks. This does not mean that you will be alone for long. When you feel lonely the pain of it can make you feel like this will last forever but it won’t unless you want it to. That’s why you should put yourself out there to interact with others whether that be accepting the offer to go for drinks or go on Tinder/dating apps to find mutual companionship. (I actually know a couple who are happily married from Tinder)

Remember there is always someone out there who is lonely too who is seeking friendship and love. You just have to go and seek it.

Allow Yourself To Reach Out

I have developed a habit from childhood that reaching out to express my emotions is not a thing a man does. The risk of being vulnerable is a place men tend not to lean into. But this place is the very location we should look to enter. Here we will find solutions. It will of course be painful sometimes but showing vulnerability is courage and strength. t shows your willingness to change and improve. On the whole, when I have been honest with how I feel to others I have created strong deep connections that feeling loneliness is a distant entity.

Create Amazing Moments

Who doesn’t like creating amazing moments in their life? The answer should be zero. Doing things one can definitely have its place but when we connect with people something magical happens. That’s why organising amazing moments in your life with others is crucial for overcoming loneliness. This can backpacking holidays wine tasting in France or skydiving in Eygpt gazing down towards the pryamids in freefall.

Reach out to friends/family or find groups you can join to meet likeminded people, for example, there is an organisation called remote site where if you normally work from home you can go to a location in the world and work and adventure activities in your spare time with a group of 6 people.

Don’t Let Marriage Get In The Way

Even in a loving marriage, you can still feel lonely. Studies have shown 35% of men in marriages feel lonely. This is because diue to wrok commitment sand family commitmnets. They have lost touch with their male friends This is a real shame and is clearly a mssing peace of the jigsaw when it comes to loneiness in marriage. So make sure if this is you. To find time to recoonnect with friends and go goof around and have fun.

Sports Can Hold The Answer

There is something magical when men who are complete strangers play sport together. Something amazing happens when bonds are formed instantly and the next thing you down the pub like you’ve been friends forever.

I strongly believe that combatting male loneliness can lie with sports whether it’s playing five aside football or having a round of golf. Sports can bring out all the best qualities in relationship building. By creating a five side weekly tournament with friends or joining a club to practice MMA. You build strong connections combatting the effects of loneliness.

Join A Community

I’m a huge fan of Yes Theory. They have created an amazing community on their facebook group where people can connect. I have seen countless people who are lonely that have connected through this group and met outside and even got married. This goes to show that building quality relationships doesn’t just have to be in an areal life setting. It can be fostered online where you will find communities that you fit into. This goes to show that you are not alone there is someone out there waiting to connect with you. You just have to recah out to find them.

Don’t Let Anyone Define What You Should Feel

On your personal journey out of loneliness. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilt or shame for speaking the truth about how you feel. Every male is a human with feelings and suppressing those feeling cause huge problems for wellebing. Be true to yourself and guide yourself to like-minded people where you can form meaningful connections. Your loneliness is the short term I promise. It ‘s just a matter of time and forward action to get out of it.

Helping Hand

I understand fully the effects loneliness can have on the mind. At The Future Mindset, we are here for you to connect and help you any way we can. Just read everything below for a way we can help you.

Please don’t forget to like, share and comment It means a lot to know if this has resonated with you.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset

I hope you enjoyed today’s article The Epidemic Of Male Loneliness And How To Solve It. I hope the article has helped in some way.

We are on social media platforms below but we are really excited to announce our weekly newsletter about everything mindset. Sign up below and enjoy the process of building your mental strength.

@thefuturemindset/@futuremindset_