forgiveness Archives - The Future Mindset

Mindset Toolkit – Forgiveness

Why Learning To Forgive Has To Be Part Of Your Self-Care Routine — Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

The foundation of having a mindset that can benefit your life is built on forgiveness. When we learn to forgive as a practice. This is when we can let go of the anchors of the past that hold us back in life.

We all have times when we have let our-self down or others we have relied on have to. When we hold onto the negative emotions of wrongdoings. It creates bitterness, an invisible weight that can get heavier and heavier to carry as time goes on.

I’ve seen and experienced this first hand. It’s not pretty to watch or feel. The unseen destruction it can do to your mental health that reflects your overall health is clear. The way it latches on like a leech sucking your mental health dry is a weight too hard to carry.

For all the pain of when we don’t practice forgiveness of others and self-forgiveness. There is hope if we learn to forgive.
I too myself have had a mindset awakening when I took on the practice of forgiveness. It changed my life.

There Are Levels Of Forgiveness

There are countless stories told about forgiveness. The most famous one I can think of is the story of Jesus dying on the cross to forgive the sins of all mankind. In modern times there are stories of parents forgiving the murderers of their child which can be seen as level 10 forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a personal experience and cannot be forced upon. It’s a path you have to walk alone and will take courage to find your way out.

In my own life, I have battled against my mistakes and failures. Holding myself to account for standards that are unwarranted. This has led to days, weeks and months of negative feelings because I couldn’t forgive myself for being human. This is known as a fixed mindset. Where pain and suffering occur from a lack of a growth mindset.

You will too have your own stories of pain in your life. Some simple to forgive and others it will take more effort to come to terms with. A good article I read on 5 different levels of forgiveness can be of some help.

When you can find it within yourself to forgive. Only then will you have a release from the torment of the mind.

How To Practice Self-Forgiveness

Practising self-forgiveness to make it a habit has to be performed on a daily or weekly basis depending on your lifestyle. Before you get to that point there has to be a beginning. This journey is somewhat similar to an Australian Aboriginal walkabout. Where you find yourself.

This has to be done alone with no distraction. This will be a time where you can write down, video or record your life experiences that need forgiving. You need to look back in the memory bank as far back as you can. Here you will find the invincible weight that has been weighing you down in life.

I personally forgive myself for being abandoned by my biological father and I forgave myself for not revising for my failed exams. When you’re going through your life’s memories some will harder to deal with than others. If you start crying you’re doing something right. Your starting to let go of your pain. This exercise could take an hour or it could take days. By the end of it, you feel light as a feather and free at last of the pasts pain.

To maintain this you have to practice self-forgiveness regularly to combat any unforeseen negative feelings that can hold you back.

This is an exercise that has changed my mental approach to life. Where now I care less about mistakes and failures. But care more about trying it again with a different approach. I face my fears more without worry about failing. It’s a refreshing approach to life that has led to my own mental health has become happier and a feeling of freedom.

How To Learn To Forgive Others

Forgiving others can be hard sometimes depending on what they have done to you. But holding long-term grudges over people does no good for your mental health. When it comes to forgiving others you have to become selfish. This is a purely selfish act for your benefit not there’s.

If you get into an argument with someone and after you have cooled down. You should look to find ways to forgive that person whether it be they don’t know any better, having a bad day or it was a breakdown in communication. Whatever it is find it because when you do you can move on.

There is a story of a mum and a son. They have two completely different points of view on life and yet again they came to an almighty argument where they never spoke to each other for years. Months after the argument. The son set his boundaries between himself and his mum but learned to forgive his mother for all her actions against him. On the other hand, his mum didn’t forgive or reach out to her son. This led to years of pain for the mom where her mental health was heavily affected by this event.

Over the course of the 4 years the person who chose to forgive led a happier life compared to the person who did not forgive.

The moral of the story is that no matter what happens to you in your life where forgiveness seems impossible. You have to be selfish in your endeavour to find it because if you do not you put your health at risk.

PLEASE COMMENT AND SHARE YOUR STORIES

Has this helped you today? Are you more inclined to focus on forgiveness. I would love to hear your thoughts and your experiences with dealing with forgiveness. Always remember your not alone and everything can change.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset

I hope you enjoyed today’s article Why Learning To Forgive Has To Be Part Of Your Self-Care Routine. Don’t worry you’re not alone. Millions of people go through the same experience every day. I hope the article has helped in some way. If you need extra help or any questions answered. Don’t hesitate to contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com

@thefuturemindset/@futuremindset_

Mindful Parent Series Week 1 – Forgiveness

Within this article how to teach your child to forgive in the modern world we will delve into the importance of teaching forgiveness to your child. Through First-hand experience and research. It has proven how a child’s mental health can be helped with the forgiveness technique and how it can future strengthen their mind, into adulthood

I have two children aged 7 and 2. This will be part of a weekly series released every Sunday. Discussing what I have learned and applied to raise my children. One of the most important parts of life. Is giving your child all the skills they need to prosper in all parts of their life. Learning forgiveness is one of them.

I hope this helps!

Why Has Forgiveness Become Important In The Modern World

The modern world today has many pitfalls for our mental health. Children especially have to deal with all different pressures based on their circumstances. It could be never-ending exams and extensive pressure to do well at school. It could be child poverty, social pressures online or overbearing parents too.

With a rise amongst teenagers with anxiety and depression. There are many challenges children are going through that as adults and parents we can defiantly help with.

With such a competitive world we live in. Any shortcoming or mistakes can be seen as a massive failure in a child’s eyes if we let it.

My Own Parenting Experiences

how to teach your child to forgive in the modern world

I have personally made sure my 7-year-old is fully prepared with his education Also making sure he lives up to our adult expectations from morning routines to how to act at a dinner table.

These high expectations have of course led to him making mistakes. It can be anything from forgetting to brush his teeth upon awakening. To being worried if he gets an answer wrong with his work.

Of course, as parents, we should push our children to be the best they can be. This will help prepare them for the modern world but not at the expense of their mental health. I too throughout my own life have put many demands and expectations on myself. When I haven’t delivered the mental toll has been damaging.

Forgiveness of a mistake was not even thought of. It was seen as a personal weakness on my part with a sense of failure. This is something I do not want for my children.

Why Forgiveness For Themselves Is Important

Upon reading The Willpower instinct by Kelly McGonigal she details that “self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control. It is also one of the single biggest predictors of depression. Whereas self-compassion – being supportive or kind to yourself, especially in the face of stress and failure – is associated with more motivation and better self-control.”

This shows brilliantly the importance of teaching forgiveness to children at a young age. So they can get into good mental health habits to benefit them for the future.

She further goes on to say that forgiveness helps people recover from mistakes because it takes away any shame and pain of thinking about what happened.

Forgiveness definitely helps you get back on track from what studies have shown. Here are some techniques you can apply with your children to get them back on track after a setback.

Ask what are they feeling?
Making sure they understand there human, like everyone else?
What would you say to a friend if they were self-critical?

How To Explain Forgiveness To A Child

There are two types of forgiveness, inner forgiveness and outer forgiveness of others. We explained to our 7-year old that forgiveness is like a weight on our back. The more we don’t forgive the heavier the weight will get where over time the weight will be too much to carry.

We also explained to him that forgiveness can not be forced upon you to do. The decision has to be fully yours and on your terms. This allows the child to take control of their emotions and what they want to do with them. This is powerful and will lead to a better understanding of themselves and how to deal with their emotion.

We then went on to say forgiveness of others does not have to be straight away when you are highly emotional or forgiving someone should never be forgetting what someone else has done as we don’t want to be scorned twice. But it’s letting go of any negative emotion when you’re ready to move on with your life.

When it came to forgiving himself. We told him that every human is imperfect. Full of mistakes after mistakes which you will always get when you are learning and growing. It’s just part of life. And by understanding we are in imperfect human beings forgiving ourselves for making mistakes is important to grow faster and to be at peace with who we are.

Letting a child know this can take a huge weight off their shoulders and that it’s normal to make mistakes and it will allow them not to dwell but seek the advancement of themselves on their own terms, not ours.

Activities For Children To Practice Forgiveness

How To Teach Your Child To Forgive In The Modern World can come from the activities we teach our children. Here are a few that have helped us with our son.

Having a personal journal
Roleplay Forgiveness
Naikan Therapy
Online worksheets

What We Learned As Parents About Forgiveness

From educating ourselves on the power of forgiveness and applying activities to help him deal with his emotions. It has allowed to an improvement within himself and of course his own mental health. His preparation for the modern world will be definitely benefited from using this technique.

Something that can hold us all back in some way can be utilised for us as parents too.

As parents, we can be very self-critical of ourselves and what we could and should have done. The same principle applies to parenting we must forgive ourselves for our own mistakes as we are multi-facet parents who have to take on many different roles and can never be perfect all the time.

Also, we must forgive our children as well for all the mistakes they make and give them the power to make mistakes through their learning of themselves and the modern world they live in. Be by their side at every turn to pick them back up again.

“The more we learn to forgive ourselves as a child the fewer things we have to worry about as an adult”
Adam Smith

Over To You Parents

I hope you enjoyed the start of this week’s Mindful Parent Series opener on how to teach your child to forgive in the modern world.

There’s always so much to learn when it comes to parenting and I hope you can apply any of the tips above to good use.

We would love to hear your own stories of mindful parenting and any topics you would like to read.

Happy Parenting = Happy Child

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Hi I’m Adam

I am a father of two beautiful children and the goal is for them to grow up with a healthy mindset. I’ve coached for over 10 years on the importance of mindset within sports and business. I want to transfer this into parenting and give valuable tips on how we can all parent better for the betterment of our children.

https://thefuturemindset.com/about/