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How The Perception Of Being A Man Is All Wrong

How The Perception Of Being A Man Is All Wrong

Since a young boy, I have watched films with male lead characters that have inspired me to be more like them. From Maximus Aurelius in Gladiator to Batman himself in Christopher Nolan epic trilogy. Both command a strong, fearless warrior with bravery and courage. Characteristics any man would want to uphold. But these stereotypes of what men should be. Is accumulating in the perception of being a man to be like Leonidus of Sparta in a modern world.

As far back as history can go humans and men especially. Have contested in tribal battles and global warfare. This creates a certain type of man. All the films I’ve disclosed above have male lead characters perfectly designed for battle-hardened men.

In the 21st century, we now live in a world of relative peace where our old male stereotype is not needed. We can take the positive characters and use them in business and sports but there is a new layer that needs implementing. A part of us that can express our feelings without being called demeaning words that put men right back in their shells.

The courage you see from these characters in films needs to be used to create a new man. That is strong but vulnerable. A man who leads from the front but is also open to receiving help. A man who sees his fellow women as equal not someone he has to provide for.

A New World

Men are entering a new world and the role they once had is becoming the past. Some will look back to the good old times of male toughness, stoicism and being a non-emotional man. When little do they know the negative side effects that their fellow man has to go through. Has great consequences on their mental health.

So today will discuss what changes men can make to create a healthy mindset. Without losing their identity of being a man.

Creating A Healthy Mindset

Like any major change from the norm. It will face pushback and difficulty. For it to succeed it takes courage, leadership and a mindset to persevere.

If I compared myself from when I was a young boy to now. I’m definitely living with a healthier mindset of what it means to be a man. But there are still times when I think I shouldn’t cry or I shouldn’t let anyone know my problems from the fret that isn’t a very man-like thing to do.

Of course, it’s ridiculous but these are feelings men feel on a daily basis. Habits are definitely passed down from generations but all it takes is one person to break away from the old ways. Thanks to the internet there are amazing people speaking openly about what men go through and how to make a positive change like mantalks and humenorg.

What Change Can We Make Today

Speak Up

I was the first person in my family to ever go to university. Like many these days, young people are changing their family trees into better financial situations. Being the first to take action takes courage but also can create change.

By creating a safe space for men to talk openly without ridicule from other men is the first place to start. You have to understand that when other men say things and you get a male response that’s negative. It Isn’t their words, it’s the words and thoughts they have been taught. This does not mean they believe or want to be macho male type deep down. It is just a reactive habit.

But nothing will change if no one takes action to change. So as painful as it is. Speaking up and allowing no judgement on your behalf when other men want to open up. It will go a long way in creating trust and shaping men in the modern world.

Be The Man You Want To Be

There is no e way to should act. The only focus you should have is being the man you want to be. Listening to your gut and what makes you happier in life he focus. If you want to cry when watching a film do it. You want to express how you feel openly do it. If you want to do ballet or any perceived non-manly sport do it. There is no written formula for how you should live your life. Forget peoples judgement of your external choices that go against the grain. Just focus on your internal mindset by developing your mindset towards positive character traits of love, kindness, gratitude, trustworthy and the list can go on. This is what you can control the rest is up to everyone else.

It’s Normal To Have Feelings

Men expressing their feelings is stereotyped as some sought of weakness in society. Men expressing how they feel openly shows vulnerability and courage.

This is a positive trait and only people who look their nose down upon anyone doing this. Only wish they could be like you. They too have feelings and instead of showing the courage to express them, they would rather move the attention away from you.

It’s a man-made idea that men shouldn’t express their feelings. Now how you express your feelings is unique to every individual.

As a man, I like to express my feeling with writing. I put all my feelings on paper and learn how to deal with problems, forgiveness and sometimes nothing at all. You have to understand feeling is energy that needs to escape. Instead of bottling them up to explode out of control, I transfer them onto paper. I only express the emotions from the paper to the real world of my choosing.

There are many ways like speaking to someone you can trust or seeking professional help.

Whatever your way is, knowing that having emotions and expressing emotions is normal.

To Conclude

I definitely don’t have all the answers and I’m on my own journey into developing a healthy male mindset. I open up the discussion thoughts or practical actions to better equip men. I’m more than open too.

Please don’t forget to like, share and comment It means a lot to know if this has resonated with you.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset 

I hope you enjoyed today’s article How The Perception Of Being A Man Is All Wrong. I hope the article has helped in some way.

If you want to take your mindset to the next level how about scheduling a 30-min discovery session to chat about your current status, results you want, and next steps. Don’t hesitate to contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com

We are on social media platforms below but we are really excited to announce our weekly newsletter about everything mindset. Sign up below and enjoy the process of building your mental strength.

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@thefuturemindset/@futuremindset_

Categories
Emotional Intelligence Emotions

How To Take Back Control Of Your Thoughts By Not Speaking For A Day

How To Take Back Control Of Your Thoughts By Not Speaking For A Day

Today’s article is a challenge I set myself of not speaking for a day in order to understand more about a habit I have in my life that I have little conscious thought over. After reading Dr Joe Dispenza book Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself. It opened my mind to whether the body is controlling my mind or is my mind controlling the body. When it comes to speaking when I’m in a professional setting my mind controls the body. But when I’m at home where I feel utmost comfortability my body controls my mind with automatic responses.

I have reviewed this and I would very much like to have the mind in control of the body within my home life. So I plan to go 24 hours without speaking at home. To analyse and be conscious of the thought patterns and responses I’m experiencing.

When The Mouth Controls The Mind

The reason why this is important to understand. Is when the mind controls the body it means that you have full consciousness over the decisions you make. Now every decision doesn’t need you to be present like breathing or healing of the body. But I do believe thoughts do. As our thoughts will shape our lives for good or bad.

This challenge of not speaking for a day came about because I want to have a great relationship with my family and don’t pass on any trauma to them. For example, I was noticing my frustrations with my children coming out within my speech and having petty arguments about things that don’t matter with my wife.

To continue and build any strong relationship it’s forged on communication.

When anyone gets comfortable in a relationship then we all tend to revert to autopilot and in a relationship with a partner. The actions you took on the honeymoon stage can soon wear off.

I’m very conscious of this as my parents fell victim to poor communication. I understand that this is a problem a lot of couple are facing with divorce rates at record highs.

Letting The Family Know

Of course, when I let my family know what I was planning to do they initially thought this was pretty strange like you reading might think too. But when they understood my reasons why. They came around to the idea. Unfortunately, my 2-year-old did not get the memo and was my biggest enemy throughout the whole challenge.

What I Learnt

So after 24 hours of this challenge, I learnt quite a lot about myself. But there was 2 major things that I will share that maybe can help you to understand yourself better.

How Reactive I Wanted To Be

The reason why humans are different from our closest ancestors Gorillas and Chimpanzees is that we have developed less reactive responses. As good as this is, we can definitely be triggered into reactive verbal responses.

Throughout the challenge, my 2-year-old did just that. The start of the day and the afternoon was great but by the evening as my defences are coming down and tiredness seeping through. I was succumbed to speak.

In life with unexpected events or small children for sure. Being reactive can be like a reflex of catching a ball. When reviewing our reactiveness with our past. You will find common similarities with parents or anyone who has had a great influence on you with their traits. I think my reactive traits definitely come from my parents. Especially my mother who is headstrong with Irish blood running through her veins. Often speaks without thinking when challenged or under pressure. This can get you into trouble in the long run.

This tendency to react in the household can disrupt the environment. So I plan moving forward to be more conscious of when I’m getting frustrated, stressed or angry to not give in to these emotions but to take a step back and breathe. To then go into the conversation without red mist and speak from conscious thought, not reactive habits.

The Importance of Showing Kindness In Your Speech

How To Win Friends And Influence people had a major impact on my life in my early 20s. There were many traits I needed to banish and develop in order to be an effective communicator.

Especially on my coaching side, I have learned that people don’t like the tough love approach and in the long run, will hate you for it even if it gets results. I noticed I was doing this with my own son when it came to his education.

By practising silence, I got see him from a different point of view. He was trying his best and reminding myself he’s just 8 years old. Whether he gets it today or gets it tomorrow it doesn’t matter if he resents my efforts to help him. Speaking with kindness and practising patience is a form of communication that will go a long way with the development of a child and forging a strong relationship in the process.

Overall

This was a tough challenge. Being able to speak is something we all take for granted. I have much respect for people who are deaf and have to communicate with a world that doesn’t know their language. But I believe after doing this challenge everyone should review their speech and what they say. Then ask yourself, is what I’m saying actually helping people and spreading joy or is doing the opposite? Only you will know this.

Going forward I will monitor my speech once a month making sure my mind is controlling my body and not the body controlling the mind.

This challenge has definitely helped me. I hope in some way this can help you.

Please don’t forget to like, share and comment It means a lot to know if this has resonated with you.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset 

I hope you enjoyed today’s article How To Take Back Control Of Your Thoughts By Not Speaking For A Day. I hope the article has helped in some way.

If you want to take your mindset to the next level how about scheduling a 30-min discovery session to chat about your current status, results you want, and next steps. Don’t hesitate to contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com

We are on social media platforms below but we are really excited to announce our weekly newsletter about everything mindset. Sign up below and enjoy the process of building your mental strength.

Follow Us On Instagram & Twitter

@thefuturemindset/@futuremindset_