Personal development Archives - Page 7 of 21

A Story Of Derick’s Mindset

In 1989 there was a man called Derick. At 36 his life hasn’t gone as planned and is deep into a negative mindset. He’s in debt, divorced, and in a career he hates. There is a cloud over Derick. At home, after work, he’s scrolling the internet. On his social media page, an old friend who he liked when he was younger reaches out to him. He is asked if he wants to meet up, he declines over the fear of what she would think of him. The next day on the internet, he comes across a website called I will teach you to be rich, dismissing it as a scam. The next day on his Linkedin page a job offer comes along that he would be great at but doesn’t apply over the fear of being rejected.

Now Derick is an imaginary character but this happens all the time in peoples lives where a negative mindset holds you back from taking risks, facing your fears and changing your life. We have all been there at some point but we can’t live there for too long because our happiness and memories are at stake.

Our health is at stake too mentally and physically. Studies have shown a negative mindset causes major problems within our body and mind that construct our downfall.

The moral of the story is when you focus on negatives you will find a negative outcome but when you focus on positives you will find positive outcomes.

Why A Negative Mindset Is A Habit

We all have negative and positive mindsets.

There is no true person out there who is constantly positive. If you are that person please message me I want to pick your brain. Your mindset is based on levels. Are you a person who is 80% negative all of the time or 20%? This is the major difference between someone living a happy and fulfilled life compared to a life where everything seems difficult with problems that can never be solved.

The reason why this is a habit. Is based on conditioning.

From family, our friends and societal norms follow us around without us even knowing. Humans have a keen ability to want to fit into a tribe. Built into us for safety and security. When we are brought up around negative mindsets the chances of us forming a negative mindset is high.

When we are children it’s the hand we are dealt but into adulthood, we have the power to change a negative mindset. In society, we see it all the time when children come from negative backgrounds (at no fault of their own) get into sports. Then their mindset changes because of the habits and mindset of their coach and the environment they’re in changes. Their whole aurora and identity are affected.

The heavyweight champion of the world Anthony Joshua is an amazing example of this. By understanding that a negative mindset is not fixed it’s changeable and with the right actions and environment. It can be changed for the better.

14 Ways To Strengthen The Mind To Ward Off A Negative Mindset

1. Meditate

A negative mindset comes from the mind being out of control. It’s much easier to be negative than positive like it’s easier not to workout than it is to work out. We all know the struggle and we all know the benefits of following the harder path. To strengthen the mind from negative thinking of the past and future. Mediating is a timeless practise that actually works and brings the mind back to the present. This is the very foundation to build on to construct a positive mindset in your life.

Remember it’s your journey and meditating is a personal experience and can not be compared. Apps like headspace and calm are great or just finding alone time to sit in calmness helps too.

2. Become Self Aware Of Your Thoughts

Becoming self-aware in your life is of major importance. When we are not self-aware of our thoughts they will always sway to thoughts of comfortability and will send us on a downward path. Being self-aware is like a muscle over time you will become better at controlling your thoughts but if you stop. It will become out of control.

I’ve already stated in a previous article how to become aware of your thoughts that you can check out here. To strengthen your mind you need to know what negative thoughts are popping up so you can let them pass through. Thoughts are like clouds, they will always float away. Just give power to thoughts that will help you.

3. Clean The Mind

Every month minimum just like spring cleaning. It’s time to declutter the mind. The cleaning tools of choice is a pen and a journal. Here you will write down everything from who’s annoyed you, the mistakes you’ve made, your achievements, what you need to work on, problems in your life. The list could go on. Sit alone and don’t move until everything you can think of is on paper and you feel a weight off your mind and literally your whole body.

The reason why we feel it in our body is that we carry our problems with us and it does weigh us down. Once everything is written, now it’s time for the fun part. You will write down all the solutions, systems and strategies to fix your problems.

From here you should be happy, focused and positively excited about what’s to come. Holding on to every negative situation in your mind allows the negative mindset to flourish. Make sure you have cleaning your mind as a top monthly priority.

4. Lower Your Expectations

Having high expectations is considered a healthy goal to set. Studies have shown otherwise. When we set too high an expectation and we don’t meet it. The feeling we get isn’t positive it’s of guilt and failure. By setting an expectation you can meet. Not only will you succeed, the positive emotions you will receive allow you to move the bar forward next time.

By setting an expectation that’s achievable allows you to fend off procrastination. Achieving success and self-esteem in the process.

If you’re starting a business, don’t tell people you’re going to be a millionaire or be the number 1 company in the world. Focus on the actions that you can do today and for the month. This will allow to last the process and a by-product of this can be millionaire status and number 1 company in the world.

5. Gratitude

Very much like meditation, gratitude is a timeless practise that helps the mind achieve a positive outlook. It’s as simple as sitting down with a journal or looking out of your window to find all the positives you can see.

The mind will find what you tell it to look for. The problem with a negative mindset is that it’s become a habit to find all the problems in life. You live in an area you hate, in a job you hate or have children you take up all your time.

Practising gratitude flips this mindset into I’m grateful I have a home that keeps me warm and safe. I have a job that pays me to feed my family and I’m grateful for my children because they bring me purpose and joy in my life.

It’s simple but it’s effective and countless studies and experiences back this up. A must in anyone’s strengthening of the mind

6. Be A Cheerleader

Having fans cheering you on can change a team’s mindset and help them to win. Having someone believe in you can change your whole outlook on a problem. To have a mindset muscle of strength you have to treat external motivation as a bonus, not a reliance. The reliance you need is on yourself. You have to be your own cheerleader. Every day you are there behind the scenes in the mind telling yourself you can do this. Cheering on every success and cheering on your mistakes as learning opportunities.

By being your own cheerleader you keep your mindset in a growth state. Keeping away from the negative mindset will be critical and self-sabotaging thoughts.

7. Be Ok With Failure

A negative mindset feeds on failure and mistakes. Society condemns failure you just have to read or watch the news. You make a mistake at your job and you could be sacked the next day. We are conditioned to see failure as weakness.

I will tell you now that this is a lie.

Failure is a strength. It means you are moving forward, you are trying and you are learning. We live in an imperfect world and that means we will make imperfect decisions. Learn to be ok with failure. The strategy that’s best used is the forgiveness strategy. Where daily you will forgive yourself for all your mistakes and failures. From there you can find solutions so it doesn’t happen again.

For peace of mind. There are many great men and women throughout human history who have had countless failures and now are revered as legends.

8. Become An Optimist

Living in England optimism is called out with pessimism. Now a little bit of pessimism is important for questioning things but too much will see you finding fault with everything around you. That’s why to ward off a negative mindset optimism is crucial. I would say it’s a 70/30 split. Optimism will allow you to see new possibilities have the belief you can do what others won’t and propel you forward in life to seek yes possibilities.

There are too many nay Sayers in life without you becoming that person to yourself. Choose optimism today the mind will thank you.

9. Do What We Enjoy 80% Of The Time

Society sets people on a path early on. The most academic and sometimes privileged will get the top employment jobs and the least academic and less privileged will get more blue-collar jobs. Of course, this is an oversimplification.

My point is you can’t rely on any path someone has set out for you if you hate what your doing. The mental implications on your health are huge. This life the older you get it traps you and tightens you in until pension age.

I’ve seen this first hand growing up and now into adulthood. It’s not pleasant to see let alone experience.

That’s why we must understand we only have one life. This life deserves us to do what we love and feel passionate about doing. The range I have gone for 80% based on all the boring and monotonous things you won’t enjoy will be outweighed by enjoyment and happiness of the tasks you will enjoy. This mentality will rid you of a negative mindset because you will live your life the way you want.

So find something you enjoy and cover all of the minimum standards of living and build it from there.

Countless stories of people who have chosen this path have no regrets and are living their life not surviving it.

10. The Lone Wolf Dies, But The Pack Survives

From James Clear book atomic habits he states. “Nothing sustains motivation better than belonging to the tribe. It transforms a personal quest into a shared one”. For a strengthened mind doing it alone is a no-no. I’ve too been in my life where I have chosen the path alone. It’s lonely, hard and mistake-ridden. The mental output is greater for motivation, discipline and focus. There is a time and a place to be alone wolf but for survival with our mental life, we must socialise and use others to help us grow.

Reach out to others and let people you can trust help you build your life. Just like ants, the shared collective is greater than any singular pursuit.

11. Be Happy Creating Discomfort

When we hear discomfort the first sign is off all the experiences you have faced where it hasn’t gone well or the feeling you experience before a task. Society is brought up to find comfort in work, living and career. It’s a human condition we can’t run away from.

But we all know that some of the best experiences and moments in our lives have come from discomfort. This is what we need to hold close and not let go of. We must seek and create discomfort so we can be happy in the long term.

Being comfortable is a short term positive with long term ramifications. Being uncomfortable by creating discomfort will lead to short term pain of fear and doubt but will lead to a life fulfilled and of memories, you will cherish. A negative mindset will avoid this at all cost but a positive mindset will learn to love and face their fears.

12. Always Be Taking Action

What stimulates a negative mindset? Lack of action. When we have days upon days of inactivity how does it make you feel? For me and most people, I have coached it makes them feel like crap. When the mind and body are not being trained it will feel lethargic but it will also lower the guard of the mind. Negative thoughts will start spiralling and will be hard to overcome.

The remedy to create a mindset of happiness, purpose and overall wellbeing. Is to take action every single day.

13. Watch Who Your Talking too

We should all know now, that who we spend the most time with will reflect in our life actions and mindset. Humans want to fit in. We want to be part of the tribe. But the question you should ask yourself is what tribe you want to be part of. Here you will find the answer.

If you feel that you are being brought down, not fulfilling your life ambitions you must question who you’re talking to.

You have 100% control over this and you have no obligation to spend time with anyone who doesn’t uplift you.

14. Make subtle changes to your speech

To strengthen the mindset. Our speech inside our mind and outside through speech can have a powerful effect on our life. Our mind is very simple in some ways. With our thoughts and speech, what we communicate the mind will command. Very much like your personal genie. When you say I can’t do something, try and say instead I can’t do this YET. A subtle change in what we say to ourselves can have a dramatic result in how the mind processes the information into action.

Try it today. Listen out for some of the words you say repeatedly. Are they helping you or slowing you down. If you feel the latter, make subtle changes in your words.

It will have massive changes in how your mind wards off a negative mindset.

Please Comment and share your stories

Has this helped you today? What’s your favourite mindset strategy you’re going to try out. I would love to hear your thoughts and your experiences with dealing with a negative mindset. Always remember your not alone and everything can change.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset

I hope you enjoyed today’s article If you’re struggling with dealing with mastering your own mindset. Don’t worry you’re not alone. Millions of people go through the same experience every day. I hope the article has helped in some way. If you need extra help or any questions answered. Don’t hesitate to contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com

@thefuturemindset/@futuremindset_

Where Does Expectation Come From?

Expectation comes from everywhere around you. The expectation of life can be different based on your family, location, countries values and expectations of what people must do. It’s an imaginary entity that creates so much power in peoples life. An amazing article on how expectation influences perception is in the link here.

It’s yours to control but too many put their mental health at risk by having a high expectation that falls flat. This can be the difference between you achieving the life you want or giving up because you have made yourself believe it’s not for you.

How Having A High Expectation Interacts With Your Mind

When anyone sets an expectation it’s of course to set the benchmark to improve and do better. You have probably heard the terms 10x your mindset famously coined by Grant Cardone. This is an exceptional movement of the invisible line that can propel people forward in their life. What people don’t understand when they aspire to have a high expectation that’s 10x. Is that these people were dormant with the skillset required to elevate themself forward.

Compared if you started to have these new high expectations to 10x to be an Astronaut but knew nothing about what it takes to be an Astronaut. You would fail quickly and painfully very fast and could lead to your belief that it’s not for you. The failure of these high expectations leads to a lowering in confidence that affects the mind in negative ways. That can change your whole approach to life.

How Our Life Experience Is Affected By Expectation Of Life

Expectation vs reality plays a major role in the feeling we get from the expectation of life we set ourselves. Too many people live in a reality in their minds where they expect themselves to be millionaires within a year.

The expectation vs reality has to be a cohesive match where the attainment of being a millionaire within 1 year is based on the systems and structures you have in place to get there. Or else the expectation vs reality will be a failure, and the mind’s confidence and well-being will be affected.

So when setting expectations you have to base It on reality where the chances of you hitting your target are likely possible with the right actions. You should treat expectations like a game of guitar heroes with every effortlessly placed click that will build the Law Of Momentum.

When you set your expectations the right way you will start to build momentum in your life. If you feel like being a bit of a yo-yo then your expectations your setting are out of balance. By evaluating your expectation vs reality on a consistent basis you can get a real feel for what’s realistic and what’s not.

Expectation has levels. My level compared to Elon Musk is completely different. Likewise, Elon’s level would have been different when he compared himself growing up to Bill Gates for example. Only now has he caught him up financially where now you could say he is a level ahead with expectations my venturing into space.

5 Ways How Your Expectation Of Life Affects The Mind

1. Expecting To Have Your Life All Together

The expectation of life is that the older you get the easier you will get life right? I don’t know about you but this is what I thought. In some ways it’s true but in so many other ways it’s definitely not. Life throws curve balls. The more you progress the more problems increase. You reading this could be 30 and still be living at home not having a clue what your life holds because you expect it all to be figured out.

The solution to this expectation is to expect you will never figure out the perfect life. You understand that life is changeable and what I believe in my 20s will be different in my 40s. The only thing you should expect of yourself is to create systems where your basic needs are taken care of alongside systems that can create great wealth. From there just enjoy the life you have today and stay in the present as much as possible. I’m still trying to figure my life out. It’s normal but expecting to have your life altogether in a nice bow is a myth. A myth you shouldn’t focus on. Just enjoy today.

2. Expecting Life To Be fair

When we leave our parents stewardship and head into life on our own two feet. We can expect that life will be fair and true. Life is far from this. Life will not be fair to you just because you expect it to.

The solution to this is to expect that life will not be fair. So when you come up against any unfairness you will know it’s not your fault but it’s a part of life. From there you can plan how to navigate around it to get your desired outcome. I expected to get promoted to a management level in an early job. I was doing all the right things but was let down by others around me. Instead of dwelling on why life is not fair. I expected that this would happen and learned how I could mitigate this from happening again. With subtle changes and an expectation to prepare for this, I achieved what I wanted without a loss of mindset.

3. Expecting Everything Will Work It Self Out

The illusion of expecting everything will work itself out. Whether I addressed the problem or not is a dangerous game to play. Things don’t magically happen. It’s based on action taken place that changes the outcome. Lack of action just makes the problem bigger in magnitude.

The solution here is to expect everything will work out by taking action. That subtle difference in wording changes everything. Since this has become an expectation I have followed. I have improved my finances, relationships and my business decisions. Life is not handed to you. The expectation of life is to take action.

4. Expecting Everyone To Like Me

The expectation that everyone will like me for me. Will set your well-being up for failure. It doesn’t matter how likeable or kind you think you are. There will always be people who won’t like you because of your personality, your positivity, your outlook on life or they’re jealous of you. I fell into this trap where I expected everyone to like me if I just change this or I just change that. This constant change of who I was to benefit someone else is not only a confidence nightmare. It goes against your true nature and who you are as a person.

The solution here is to expect that not everyone will like you and that’s ok. As long as you are true to yourself the right people will be attracted. The ones who do not. It has more to do with them than it has to do with you.

6. Expectation On Success

Everyone’s expectation of success is different. But too many look to celebrity culture as a guide to what success is. I too had this outlook where I expected success to be when I have a fancy home, supercar, high-end clothes etc. This is all a lie. Success is whatever you think success is. I’m successful because I am there for my children every single day. I am successful because I focus on developing myself to become a better person daily.

The solution here to find what success means to you and when your expectation meets your reality and not someone else’s. That’s when your wellbeing and mind can be in tune with each other and you can be happy with your accomplishments. As well as setting yourself expectations of what you want in your life that means something to you. Not someone having a life you think you should have.

How To Set Realistic Expectations

First don’t set expectations based on what others expect from you. People can make suggestions but you have to make decisions. You first have to train your mind to have the expectation of a life that you want. This is non-negotiable. Too many people myself included have fallen into the expectation trap that doesn’t align with your values, spirit and skillet to fall flat on your face. You then throw a pity party about how bad you are at life. This is all pre-programmed in the mind to do when we fail at the expectation that should never have been set for ourselves in the first place.

You have to sit down with yourself and get to know yourself truly and what you are capable of completing presently. Once you know what you can do and what you want to do. You can set realistic expectations to achieve with a realistic time limit to complete. Once you hit this goal your confidence and wellbeing will be awoken. Your life has now begun the chapter you’ve always wanted to read. Set when your creating your expectation of life. Make sure the expectation VS reality is in your mind. From here you can achieve success and feel good at the same time whist moving forward with harder challenges that you can achieve.

PLEASE COMMENT AND SHARE YOUR STORIES

Has this helped you today? What do you think, should you be realistic with your expectation or should you set a high expectation. I would love to hear your thoughts and your experiences with dealing with the expectation of life. Always remember you’re not alone and everything can change by developing your mindset.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset

@thefuturemindset/@futuremindset_