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Mindset Toolkit – Forgiveness

Why Learning To Forgive Has To Be Part Of Your Self-Care Routine — Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

The foundation of having a mindset that can benefit your life is built on forgiveness. When we learn to forgive as a practice. This is when we can let go of the anchors of the past that hold us back in life.

We all have times when we have let our-self down or others we have relied on have to. When we hold onto the negative emotions of wrongdoings. It creates bitterness, an invisible weight that can get heavier and heavier to carry as time goes on.

I’ve seen and experienced this first hand. It’s not pretty to watch or feel. The unseen destruction it can do to your mental health that reflects your overall health is clear. The way it latches on like a leech sucking your mental health dry is a weight too hard to carry.

For all the pain of when we don’t practice forgiveness of others and self-forgiveness. There is hope if we learn to forgive.
I too myself have had a mindset awakening when I took on the practice of forgiveness. It changed my life.

There Are Levels Of Forgiveness

There are countless stories told about forgiveness. The most famous one I can think of is the story of Jesus dying on the cross to forgive the sins of all mankind. In modern times there are stories of parents forgiving the murderers of their child which can be seen as level 10 forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a personal experience and cannot be forced upon. It’s a path you have to walk alone and will take courage to find your way out.

In my own life, I have battled against my mistakes and failures. Holding myself to account for standards that are unwarranted. This has led to days, weeks and months of negative feelings because I couldn’t forgive myself for being human. This is known as a fixed mindset. Where pain and suffering occur from a lack of a growth mindset.

You will too have your own stories of pain in your life. Some simple to forgive and others it will take more effort to come to terms with. A good article I read on 5 different levels of forgiveness can be of some help.

When you can find it within yourself to forgive. Only then will you have a release from the torment of the mind.

How To Practice Self-Forgiveness

Practising self-forgiveness to make it a habit has to be performed on a daily or weekly basis depending on your lifestyle. Before you get to that point there has to be a beginning. This journey is somewhat similar to an Australian Aboriginal walkabout. Where you find yourself.

This has to be done alone with no distraction. This will be a time where you can write down, video or record your life experiences that need forgiving. You need to look back in the memory bank as far back as you can. Here you will find the invincible weight that has been weighing you down in life.

I personally forgive myself for being abandoned by my biological father and I forgave myself for not revising for my failed exams. When you’re going through your life’s memories some will harder to deal with than others. If you start crying you’re doing something right. Your starting to let go of your pain. This exercise could take an hour or it could take days. By the end of it, you feel light as a feather and free at last of the pasts pain.

To maintain this you have to practice self-forgiveness regularly to combat any unforeseen negative feelings that can hold you back.

This is an exercise that has changed my mental approach to life. Where now I care less about mistakes and failures. But care more about trying it again with a different approach. I face my fears more without worry about failing. It’s a refreshing approach to life that has led to my own mental health has become happier and a feeling of freedom.

How To Learn To Forgive Others

Forgiving others can be hard sometimes depending on what they have done to you. But holding long-term grudges over people does no good for your mental health. When it comes to forgiving others you have to become selfish. This is a purely selfish act for your benefit not there’s.

If you get into an argument with someone and after you have cooled down. You should look to find ways to forgive that person whether it be they don’t know any better, having a bad day or it was a breakdown in communication. Whatever it is find it because when you do you can move on.

There is a story of a mum and a son. They have two completely different points of view on life and yet again they came to an almighty argument where they never spoke to each other for years. Months after the argument. The son set his boundaries between himself and his mum but learned to forgive his mother for all her actions against him. On the other hand, his mum didn’t forgive or reach out to her son. This led to years of pain for the mom where her mental health was heavily affected by this event.

Over the course of the 4 years the person who chose to forgive led a happier life compared to the person who did not forgive.

The moral of the story is that no matter what happens to you in your life where forgiveness seems impossible. You have to be selfish in your endeavour to find it because if you do not you put your health at risk.

PLEASE COMMENT AND SHARE YOUR STORIES

Has this helped you today? Are you more inclined to focus on forgiveness. I would love to hear your thoughts and your experiences with dealing with forgiveness. Always remember your not alone and everything can change.

A Final Word From The Future Mindset

I hope you enjoyed today’s article Why Learning To Forgive Has To Be Part Of Your Self-Care Routine. Don’t worry you’re not alone. Millions of people go through the same experience every day. I hope the article has helped in some way. If you need extra help or any questions answered. Don’t hesitate to contact me at adam@thefuturemindset.com

@thefuturemindset/@futuremindset_

What To Expect?

Do you ever dwell on your failures? In today’s article, 5 ways to overcome the mind when it dwells on failure. Is to help anyone who deals with failure which is in fact, everyone. Learn how to control it with simple techniques anyone can do. Failure is a part of life and when we accept this, then the mind can overcome the failure by learning from it and fighting back to win again. Building mental strength in this area is so important for future growth.

Finding It Hard To Overcome Failure In The Mind?

Don’t worry your not the only one. Of course, no one likes failure. It’s a painful experience especially when you have put in so much effort to come up short. Everyone’s failures are unique to them but there is a difference between people who are successful and people who are not and it’s how they deal with failure. How we deal with failure says a lot about our character and whether or not we are overcoming our failures.

I have found it hard to deal with failures. When it’s a failure I can immediately try again straightway like a sales rejection or a loss on a FIFA 21 I can take that in my stride. But when it’s a failure I have to wait to try again or it takes a long time to achieve I found it much more difficult to deal with until I learned how to.

Dealing with failure badly can come from the social pressure we face. No one wants to look bad in front of people. But unfortunately, we live in a society that pounces on failure and makes you relive it again and again. This is something that we all need to give up. Caring about what people think about our failures.

For the mind to be strong we need to make our failures our own. Owning the battle scars of battle, the epic story we have to tell others or the opportunity to be a real-life superhero for a chance to rise up again.

How we think about something is important, how we think about our failures is near the top of that list. This will be the difference between whether we fight back or stay knocked down. What would you rather do?

What Happens If Failure Controls Your Life?

When we can’t deal with failure it will start to ruin our mental health, relationships and progression in life. The negative effects are huge if you live in your failure. You will become sick, your body we start to have less energy and your mind will feel heavy. This is from personal experience and it’s not a place you want to be.

Dealing with failure is a skill that anyone can learn. But we are not taught this in school. We only learn this if we are lucky from parents and coaches or the hard way. Too many people who have failed think such negative thoughts, that they’re a loser, they’re not good enough etc. But if you could teach yourself to always find the positive in difficult moments you would be able to deal with any failure that comes your way.

By changing how you talk to yourself. Words are powerful, it can move people into action for good or bad. The words you speak to yourself are just as important if not more. When you fail tell yourself instead I’m going to win next time, I am good enough to solve this problem. This will send your brain on a different path. A path that’s good for all parts of your life.

How To Overcome Failure And Achieve Success

We have to treat failure like a message. A message we receive to let us know this isn’t the right way to do it. A message that lets us know there’s a better way we have to pursue to gain our success. I’ve watched Manchester City a football club in England attempt to reach the champions league final.

For 10 years they have tried. First getting knocked out at the group stages for two years. Then the last 16 and quarter-finals. Now the final. By learning and adapting from our failures whether that be in the mind, our skillset or our strategy. This is when we can achieve success on a consistent basis.

5 Ways To Overcome The Mind When It Dwells On Failure

1. Find Inner Peace

Finding your inner peace is crucial to helping the mind when dealing with failure. When failure hits it can be a crushing feeling, you know how it feels yourself. Letting that foster only leads to more chaos but finding a way to deal with failure inwardly is a necessary step to move forward from failure.

A technique that has helped when I fail is to forgive myself and others who are part of the failure. This is great for letting go of all the negative emotions that come with failure. By taking time to sit with your thoughts and put them on paper not only release the negative energy but also contributes to solutions to move forward.

2. Look At The Big Picture

The emotion of failure is unique to everyone. What means something to you might not mean something to someone else.

I have had failures in my life where now I look upon them and laugh at how I reacted at that moment as it wasn’t that big of a problem looking in on the experience. As the saying goes if won’t affect you in 5 years time, it’s something we shouldn’t worry about in the present.

Time will always pass and what is now will not always be. Having this mindset allows me not to dwell in my present failures but look from the perspective of the photographer or video director on your failure and you will get a completely different outlook on failure.

3. Have A Pre- Emptive Habit

What I have learned through experience is to be prepared for failure. Understanding it will come allows the mind to be prepared for the eventuality of failure. I understand when parenting I’m going to mess up sometimes or when I start a business one of them might fail.

This mindset has helped when failure has occurred and has become less of a shock when it does. Expecting to win and succeed is great but understanding winning and success is like war, some battles will be lost along the way. This mentality will help with inner peace and thinking big picture about your failures.

4. Block Out The External Noise

Failure can be even deadlier when others look down upon your failure. This can hurt a lot for the mind. What truly makes you mentally strong and take every failure in your stride is blocking out all external negativity or having a wall so strong that it does not get through. Your failures are yours. Yours alone. Taking responsibility for your failures. Will go a long way for you not to fear failure and take it on the chin when it comes along.

By training your internal voice to be a positive one by creating an alter ego of a coach you admire. To delegate the task of helping you recover from failure in your stride. Will help you be in full control.

5. Learn From Your Failures

The most important of all is learning from your failures. Making the same failures, again and again, can be a painful reminder of not learning from your failures. Having time to sit down to analyse what went right and what went wrong will help to find solutions.

By networking with your findings it will help you to understand better what to do next. Having a toddler brain for learning is crucial. When a toddler falls down, or can’t say the right words, they find solutions, they persist and through learning from their failure they always overcome the challenge that’s in front of them.

Learning from your failures is how you will deal with your failures and this is what keeps the mind from dwelling on failure.

Over To You

I hope you enjoyed today’s article, 5 ways to overcome the mind when it dwells on failure. Knowing that failure is not permanent but it’s a part of life can help you overcome any failure that comes your way. Practice the techniques above and I’m sure you will able to move on from failure much faster than before.

Hi I’m Adam

I’ve spent over 10 years coaching and mentoring people within sport and business. I have many life skills that I have developed and I want to pass these skills on so people can find their best self. I believe it all starts in the mind and I write about valuable tools and strategies to help people grow in this area.