Introduction
Have you ever struggled with self-worth? Growing up i was always highly critical of myself which led to me always fighting with being happy and confident with myself. When i started hanging out with successful people they had a really high self worth and below are the 12 ways to improve your self-worth today that they practised on a daily basis. Since I’ve done this myself my confidence has sky rocketed. I hope it helps you too.
12 Ways To Improve Your Self-Worth Today
1. Practice Self-Love Through Affirmations
This should be practised every day of your life. Damaging thoughts just like a virus will always try and find a way in if you let your guard down. The way I practice this, is having cards with an affirmation that means something to me.
I tend to stay away from 1-word lines like “I’m happy” or “I’m a winner.” It feels like you’re just saying a random word of no consequence. Instead, I write my affirmations that have more meaning to me. For example, “I have the self-belief to overcome my negative thoughts and choose a new path of happiness through positive thought”. Then I pause and let positive energy flow through my mind. Another example is “I have won at so many things in life, I know I’m going to succeed today”.
These affirmations having meaning to me and with the help of visualising, my mind and body feel alive. I treat it as a garden where I can plant anything I want that can help my garden grow.
If I don’t look after my garden for one day, I know the pesky weeds will come in and my garden will start to perish. Just like my life ambitions if I don’t look after my mind every day.
By writing your affirmations instead of just reading other peoples, this should unlock the energy to bring these affirmations to life. Then have the cards with you at all times and call upon them throughout your day. Until they are fully formed in thought and habit in your life.
2. Practice Gratitude
For years I’ve been hearing gratitude is so amazing, you should do it, it’s life-changing. For years I tried with no avail. I had a journal to write it down but always forgot. I had it written in my goals but always forgot. When I did do it, I knew the benefits of how it felt.
It felt like a release of positive energy. A feeling of happiness, a focus on the positives of life. But knowing something works may not always mean you will apply it in your life. Then whilst reading Success Principles by Jack Canfield. He spoke about a different way of doing it which I now call gratitude blitz. (Sadly it’s after the German blitz creed, I’m a fan of the tactic just not the execution on Europe)
This is where you look around where you are in that present moment and say as many grateful things you can see. It could be looking out of the window and “saying thank you for the amazing sun today” or “I’m grateful for my plants giving me the oxygen to breathe and be alive.”
Then if you need more inspiration you can walk around your whole house doing this. Then you can even enter your mind. I like to be thankful for my family, my friends or even Jurgen Klopp for making Liverpool winners again. It can be anything small or big or even something that’s happening around the world. With the COVID 19 pandemic, I was thankful for the nurses and doctors putting their lives at immediate risk to save others which we sometimes take for granted. On the subject of nurses, saying I’m grateful for past heroes like Florence Nightingale and Mary Seacole for changing nursing as we know it in the UK today. It literally can be anything that has meaning to you and not what someone has told you to say.
The main reason why I’ve kept disciplined? I have objects I’ve bought like a sand timer. This helps me to focus and keep visually accountable each day. Along with gratitude blitz, this is a quick 1 to 2-minute action you can do each morning upon rising or before bed. You can even carry it with you and do it whenever you feel a bit overwhelmed. It truly puts your brain back in the right direction. Especially with barrage of negativity from the news and daily challenges we face.
3. Be Conscious Of The Stories And Words You Tell About Yourself
Over time we all pick different opinions and facts from our family, friends to a scientist. Now a lot of things I’m sure we learn are valid. For example, Newton’s gravity law or Liverpool are definitely the most successful English team in Europe. These are facts we have no doubt over.
What can damage us is the stories people tell about us or more importantly the stories we tell about ourselves. Which can be more damaging!
Growing up, I used to think that eating all meat in my diet was the best and healthiest form of protein. Whereas we have found out it’s not and the animals we eat get their protein from plants. I used to believe that getting rich was impossible. Amongst many other beliefs, these were all created from the environment and beliefs of people I was surrounded by.
On a personal level, I used to believe I’m not deserving of good things in my life. Unless I’m number 1 in what I do or I used to say I’m not a peoples person because I’m an introvert. These damaging thoughts if not corrected can have a lasting damage on your life. For instance, if I didn’t change my diet I grew up on I would be on the fast track for a fatal disease like so many in the western world. I would just become an employee because I would never think I could be the boss of a company. I wouldn’t try new things if there wasn’t a chance of being the best at it. Lastly I wouldn’t public speak or have a role with mentoring people because I’m an introvert and not a peoples person.
If I believed all these I would still be living at home afraid of the world to even try. We have to challenge our thoughts of others and what we think of ourselves. It’s our duty to our goals and our happiness to think differently from everyone else. To find out whether its an opinion or a fact, whether it’s possible or it just hasn’t been done yet.
The best way for me is to have a journal of where you can write down thoughts. It can be thoughts that you question. What you have learned from other people or thoughts that make you feel unhappy in your life.
Write them down and question them. Seek the truth and you will be set free from the shackles of social limitations, because taking advice from someone who has never experienced what they are talking about, is probably not the best person to seek advice from. Nor is right to listen to peoples opinions about you that are negative.
4. Create A New Inner Circle
Have you ever had social groups that make you feel like crap with their barrage of negativity. Or their values don’t align with your growth?
I’ve had this personally from my school friends who would rather go out on a Saturday night and start a fight. Rather than talk about how we are going to make a difference on the world. Then I’ve had work colleagues who would rather stab you in the back than build you up and grow together.
What can hold you back when trying to grow, is being apart of groups where peoples values do not align with yours. Especially if you want to be successful. As starting fights and always having to watch your back aren’t going to get you there.
For me to grow throughout my life to where I am today, I’ve had to leave some people or groups of people behind that don’t align with my values and goals. This is super important for you and your mental health. As being around people that boost you up and make you feel safe to be yourself is important for growth.
So make a list of you social groups you hang out with and ask yourself. Are they bringing me up or bringing me down in life because if someone is bringing you down. They are not thinking about you, they are just thinking about themselves.
Once you do this list. Start distancing yourself away from these people and start networking. Putting yourself in situations to find people that align with your goals.
I had to change my career because of the toxic environment I was in. Do whatever it takes to get you on the right path. A path where you can be happy with who you surround yourself with.
5. Give back And You Shall Receive
Try being mean to someone, then try being kind. You probably have experiences of this in your life where this has happened. Remember how you felt?
When you’re rude or don’t share with people you don’t get good feelings coming your way. you just get more of what you dealt. But when your kind and selfless to other people you get all kinds of good feeling coming your way.
Most recently we have nurses and carers on the front-line battling the COVID 19 Epidemic. Me and my family was on our daily exercise walk and saw a lady in a nurses outfit sat in her car. My partner always loves smiling and saying hello to people and greeted her. Then I walked past and I was compelled to say “Thank you for your hard work and please keep it up, you’re doing an amazing job”. On her face I could see those simple words had an amazing effect on her. She couldn’t stop smiling and for me, I had a rush of energy that made me feel so positive.
This was a simple gesture compared to say giving millions of pounds to charity. But the same feeling applies regardless of how big or small your gesture is.
For you to build your self-worth and your inner happiness, you have to give back all the time with your words and with your actions. So you can make a list of where you can give back in your life. It could be someone who helped you be the person you are today. Maybe the environment you want to have a positive impact on.
It can be anything and this exercise takes you away from thinking about you. To putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and making their day better which will, in turn, make yours too.
6. Create Your Vision
Throughout my life whenever I have felt down, uninspired, lethargic or unproductive. It’s been down to my vision being unclear. I think so many of us are going through life aimless to where we are meant to go. This leads to you living life the same every day and it becomes like ground-hog day. This can lead to many negative traits forming.
The one thing you can do to change all this and make your life full of excitement? One where you can do the things you want to do? Is by creating your vision. The first thing you should do is write 100 things you want to do in the short and long term of life. (Go wild, nothing is off-limits).
Then put them into sections, travel, personal development, career advancement or any heading you want that describes what it is.
Now pick your top 5 that can move your life forward the fastest. Or bring you the most happiness. Then you have to create the vision inside your mind and visually in front of you as it’s already being done. You have your endpoint now. You just need to follow the path to the destination. Figuring out the hows and overcoming the objections and with action, your brain will figure out the rest.
Vision creates purpose and purpose makes you feel alive and feeling alive makes you happy. So go seek it.
7. Seek help
Throughout life, for a long time, I did everything for myself and became independent because of it. This happened because the people of influence around me made me feel small, when seeking help.
This activated my pride part of my personality and resulted in the long road to success strategy where I had to figure everything out on my own. The benefits are you will be comfortable with being around you as you will be the main source of development through trial and error.
I created small successes in my life which I am proud of. To continue for big success on a fast upward directory it was less likely. Then I came across mentors who cared about my growth and saw my potential. I was a bit defensive at first as I wanted my ego and pride protected but once I let my guard down and seek their help my progression quickly went in the right direction. From there I’ve also read many books and have found new mentors whom I’ve never met, but i’m sure will cross paths with one day.
The advice here would be – if anyone makes you feel like crap for seeking help. They are the problem not you. Look at it as a super positive of who not to seek help from.
Keep searching because there are many people who can help. Just be watchful when it comes your way. The fastest way to do it is to go to seminars. Join a business who focus on progression or read personal development books.
Just don’t do it alone. One of my major goals is to give back all the knowledge I have. So no one has to be alone in their journey.
8. Don’t Worry If You Stumble
What brings peoples energy down is thinking they have to get everything right the first time. This is not true. Most people makes many mistakes before the get something right.
We all have to remember that we are human beings, not robots. We will make many mistakes until our last breath. This is OK as long as we pick ourselves back up and try again and learn from it. Too many people don’t hit their targets and goals because they give up when they face a setback.
A time where I have done this is when public speaking whilst at University. It was a horror show from my perspective and this led to me hiding away from public speaking.
Through development and practice and facing my problems this has now become a strength. Sometimes i just have to remind myself. If I had a conversation with my younger self he would be seriously shocked by this. Which shows nothing is finite and we grow through our mistakes not by having none.
The best way to overcome your stumbling blocks, is by permitting yourself that if you are seriously trying your best its OK to fall short sometimes. As long as you go again. This will help your brain know not to beat yourself up for it. But help find you another solution to go forward.
9. Make A List Of Your Accomplishments
In life, you can feel like you’re not good enough. You can think the people around you have accomplished far more than yourself. This kind of talk is not helpful and stops your progression right in its tracks.
I’ve had this in my life, when comparing myself to others. Looking at what they have or what position they’re in compared to myself. Sometimes we have a habit of just looking at people from our perspective. We look outward at peoples success, without knowing their starting point. Their journey of ups and downs.
What keeps our self worth high, is looking within not outwards. Because our only competition should be with ourselves, not others. We forget we have accomplishments and we have achieved so much in our lives.
Just imagine how many sperm cells you beat to be here today. You can talk. You can see the beauty of the world through your eyes. Hear the magical sounds through music and experience mother nature. Things we take for granted is one part of accomplishment we should look back on with pride.
Then there’s every part of your life up until this point of reading this blog. This is where you should re sight with pride your many accomplishments.
What holds us back is, we compare ourselves to people we perceive as living an extraordinary life. Then look back at our own with envy. But that should not put you down on your existence. We can’t forget our own accomplishments.
With confidence can we pursue our life goals we would like to achieve but only when we know our true worth. So write down a list of as many accomplishments you have made in your life no matter the size.
This is your life no one else’s and any achievement you feel is worthy, should be written down. Also anyone you feel is accomplishing more than you, praise them for their achievements and find out what they did to get themselves there.
10. Do Something Creative
In all of us, there’s a creative spirit and when unlocked, it can create so many new possibilities and enjoyment in our lives. Growing up when it came to art I was good at drawing 2D football stadiums and that was about it. I remember when I used to paint how relaxing it was when at school.
Growing up you lose sight of these good mental health practices. Now as an adult thanks to my son through Art for kids hub I can draw. (with their help of course) but none the less something I thought was a born ability is a technique that can be developed over time.
The true benefit to me is that it relaxes me and makes me feel good and I believe that’s what Art can do for you. So I challenge you to pick something creative for a hobby or if the talent is there, a profession in photography, acting, dancing, singing, playing an instrument or coming up with a new dish.
Look at the earth around us, it’s built on creativity and when we are allowed to express ourselves that’s when happiness and our self-worth skyrockets.
11. Meditation
I was sceptical at first whether meditation works, I thought it was just for hippies. How wrong was I. Its so beneficial for my life for taking control back of my mind and body. Studies have shown it reduces stress, anxiety and depression and heightens focus, creativity and compassion plus many more.
In Asia it’s practised highly due to their beliefs in Buddhism. In the western world it can have a negative connotation but believe me, it works. It should be practised and taught in schools all over the world and in stressful workplaces.
There are many forms of meditations and you can find them on YouTube, apps like Headspace or paid courses where you can learn it.
My personal choice is Marissa Peer who taught me amongst many things that I’m enough, which is so simple but powerful words. So today do a 90-day checklist of meditation, it might feel weird at first but you will find inner peace as you go.
12. Praise yourself
More so in the past i have been highly critical of myself. Of course, at times a bit of brute honesty can have a quick short term effect but a prolonged hardship on yourself will not.
When coaching other people, if you’re overly critical, it dampens their confidence and self-esteem to retry the task to a high standard. Guess what? When we do this to ourselves, it has the same effect. I went through a part of my life where I thought to criticise myself and others could pave the way for my success quickly, of course telling people and myself what I’m bad at 24/7 is going help them right?!
It’s just telling them where they have gone wrong. Can you see the pattern? With words like bad and wrong, these are not positive words that are going to motivate anyone. The only example of this working over the short term is when you receive feedback like this, you quickly re-enforce positive praise for yourself which is long and tiring.
As well as finding the right coaches in your life who are honest in a positive way, you also have to praise yourself at all the great things you’re doing and this will propel your confidence.
Where in your life weren’t you getting the return you wanted? The best practice for overcoming this is to notice when you’re hard on yourself and write it down and remember the experience. Then ask yourself how could I have praised myself positively.
It will not happen overnight but apply constant pressure on this. It will give you the independence to always build yourself up to the strong confident person you was meant to be.
Conclusion
I hope these 12 ways to improve your self-worth today can help you achieve your improvement in your control of yourself. If applied you will see massive changes. These changes can bring you your wants and desires. If you’re great then you can make people great. Once you apply it, teach to family, friends and colleagues and give them the tools to be happy and confident in themselves.