happiness Archives - Page 7 of 7

“The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.”
C. JoyBell C.

the truth about Why your unhappy alone in a room — Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

The reason I’m writing this post is that I want to answer the question why do we feel unhappy? I want to find out from my own experiences and through science-backed research why this is the case. I then want to find solutions to be able to live a life where I’m happy and in control of my emotions. For you the reader I want to help you identity unhappiness triggers and ways for you to overcome this emotion positively. I will only speak from my experience and I respect everyone goes through different circumstances than I do. I hope you enjoy my findings.

Why Do I Feel Unhappy

Throughout my life, there have been times where I have been completely unhappy. I’m sure we all go through this at some point. No matter what examples you have they all mean something to you. For me, there were big things like a career I lost all passion to do or a never-ending financial cycle where my finances would never grow and made me feel totally out of control. It was also small things like a bad conversation or not spending time with my children because of work.

If prolonged this is damaging for your mental health and can lead you on a dark path if not treated. I’m very lucky that alcohol, drugs or any dark thoughts haven’t come my way and wish all those people who go down that path my utmost love to come back to a life of happiness.

Signs Of Unhappiness

I’ve come to realise through experience when I’ve become unhappy as a person. I want to sleep in, I feel lethargic, snappy, sarcastic, pessimistic, destructive. Some of these emotions can be seen by others but it’s the ones they can’t see you have to be more aware of because when alone with your thoughts they can be the most demoralising.

For me when I become unhappy and it’s unchecked it can feel so difficult to pull yourself back into the light. You feel drained and like nothings ever going to get better.

Overall I’m a pretty optimistic and positive person but I’m still human and will have a day that I don’t feel like my normal self. The most important thing to do is listen to your body and mind and how it feels. Your subconscious has all the answers for you. You just have to access it.

This has helped me change career paths where I get more free time to spend with my family and travel. It’s allowed me to change my whole financial directory. Finally, it’s allowed me to deal with the past experiences that held me back.

When we don’t listen to what we want we get more of what we have. If that’s something that doesn’t align with our wants and needs it will lead to our unhappiness.

Through life, we come across people every day who are unhappy in their work, at home and just how their life is being lived. This is because they’re not chasing their purpose in life.

Many things in life can affect us and become unhappy, here are some we must overcome,

Things to stop doing

Comparing yourself to others

Comparison to others can be positive and negative. If you’re looking at what your competitions doing to get some tips on how to improve your ability that’s great. Most people don’t do this and I have been a victim of this too. I have seen people progress in business and questioned my ability and standing which led to an endless cycle of unhappiness. Author Laura Gassner Otting says in her book “We are so limited with checking off the boxes of other peoples versions of success that we forget to determine our own” Once I realised that everyone is on their path and I’m on mine I came to understand that the only person I should focus on is myself. This has led to an abundance of happiness on my journey through life. I’m now grateful for their success.

Being In A Toxic Relationship

Sometimes in relationships, you feel obliged to stay in them even if it’s painful. When living at home it was toxic and it was a major comfort to me as it was my only home. When I took the courage to move out at 18 and forge my path. I saw my mood change and feeling of freeness from it. If your in any relationship that cant be developed through communication and action. Get out of it now and you will find your happiness in the long term.

Doing A Job You Hate

Sometimes in life, you have to work that job you hate to pay your expenses or to gain experience to better yourself. You might even be in a high paying job but you hate it. The question you have to ask yourself in the long term what’s more important your mental health or your comfortable job that makes you unhappy.

We live in an era where there are many opportunities for you to form a career doing something you love or just enjoy. You just have to look for it. There are even opportunities for you to start your own business. You have control over how you make money. You just need to make it your priority to take a leap of faith. We only live once, why not do something we love.

Get Your Money In Order

What makes people unhappy is when money controls them. This could be debt or low pay that barely breaks even your lifestyle. Anything that stops you from living life to a good standard of living will hold your happiness back. When you don’t have to worry about your expenses, can travel yearly and live in an area you love happiness levels rise drastically. Money can’t necessarily buy you happiness but it can take away a lot of your problems which will make you happier. Having my finances in order allows me to make better choices of how to make my life happier in the process.

Seeking Happiness

Having goals and a vision are important for growth and happiness but when you live in the future. You live with what you don’t have rather than focusing on what you do have. This has been proven to lead to unhappiness. What can change all that is having time throughout your day for when your grateful for what you have in life. Your family, home, food, lifestyle anything that you’re thankful for. This boost happiness leading to less stress and anxiety about what’s to come in life. So remember to focus on the present as much as you strive to move forward to balance it out.

If you can think of more please write them down and search within yourself what makes you unhappy. It’s really important to find out because if you don’t. How are you going to find out what causes your unhappiness to then fix it.

Final Thoughts

Understanding what makes us unhappy is a topic we all should focus on a lot more. From here we can address problems by finding solutions to make sure we lead a life full of happiness. Who wouldn’t want that life? Guess what? It’s possible, it’s all in your control, you just have to take action to get it.

Make sure you check out the follow-up blog post on 8 ways how to find happiness right now.

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This blog is for anyone who wants to improve themselves. I personally have learned and practised developing my self-worth. This is why i have created The 6 Benefits of developing Self-worth in your life which i hope you can also benefit from too.

Quote that tell you are who have been looking for

What is Self-Worth?

What does this mean to you? For me, it means your ability to think positively about yourself. To not put yourself down and limit yourself with your words. Mark Twain stated “ A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval”

I’m sure we all have our own definition of what self-worth means to us. But how many of us are practising self-worth regularly? As we know, many of our habits are formed from an early age. As we grow older we find out whether the things we get taught are helping us move forward or holding us back. What made me write this post? Today i was reading the book Becoming A Person Of Influence by John C. Maxwell, where he discusses the importance of self-worth.

On reflection my self-worth has been a battle throughout my whole life. I’ve said to myself I’m not a great people person because I’m introverted which has stopped me networking with people. Saying I’m not a great public speaker because of one bad experience at University. And worst of all, on becoming an owner of my own company, I said i don’t deserve this.

All 3 statements are utter nonsense and are fabricated in our own mind by our lack of love for ourselves. In reality I’ve been the best at acquiring new customers and ranked number 1 in the country. I’ve spoken in front of 1000’s of people with amazing feedback. I wouldn’t have opened my own business if everything was not in place to do so. This shows that our limiting beliefs of ourselves are not true statements. They are from a viewpoint that has formed from a young age.

John C. Maxwell states, what’s holding us all back in our pursuit of happiness is our self worth and this will affect your employment, relationships, education, and more.

Building self-esteem is super important for children and adults of all ages. It’s a daily exercise we should practice every day until it becomes a habit instilled. Is it easy? No! Is it worth it? YES!

So here are the 6 benefits that can improve your self-worth and strategies for you to work on daily. Now if your one of the fortunate who is reading this and believes they have great self-worth, that’s brilliant. Hopefully, these strategies can help you teach your children, colleagues, friends, and family to build their self worth. As you know how important it is in your life.

The 6 Benefits Of Developing Self-Worth In Your Life

1. Benefits Of Personal Happiness

Having high self-worth can lead to an abundance of happiness. By being kind and believing in yourself, you will open up your mind to new possibilities. This can help you to pursue better relationships, career paths, or anything you wish to come true. It will lead to happiness, listening to the wants in your life and you believing you can do it. How i develop my happiness is focusing on things that i enjoy, and it’s also what brings value in my life even if it’s difficult and challenging.

A quote shows that little progress adds up a lot

2. Benefits Of Focusing On Mini Wins

What solidifies your self worth is focusing on the mini wins in your life. What dashes people’s confidence is setting one big goal without no steps in place to get there. Then if you come up against a hurdle that’s difficult, it will knock you off your feet and then you will give up.

I wanted to write a book. In theory, it sounds great but when you have to write 100,000 words this can seem daunting. It was for me. So instead of focusing only on the big goal, I said that I will write 100 words a day. This made my brain feel like yes I can definitely do that. The beauty of it, after you have hit your goal of 100 words, you get a release of positive energy. Then you can’t stop writing and I end up writing at least 1000 words in one sitting. So set yourself easy winning hurdles. This will build your self-worth and show belief you can do it.

A sign that demonstrates being open which related to being open minded

3. Benefits Of Being Open-Minded

Being Open-minded allows you to experience new adventures, friends, career paths, and all sorts of new and wonderful things to explore. When leaping into the unknown you learn so much about yourself.

Having high self-worth allows you to be confident in yourself and your abilities as a person. Which allows you to open your mind to new possibilities. As I was growing in confidence – things I thought I couldn’t do I was attempting. This was crazy to me at the time. When you are high in this personal belief you will be shocked at the new things you will attempt. This is also true with learning, you will question things more.

4. Benefits Of Becoming A Problem Solver

By believing in yourself and your capabilities you will overcome a lot of the problems you face. When you have low self-esteem you shut your brain down to finding solutions. This tells the brain to just settle for the easiest options. The example I use is, I get two students, to pick one colour. They then have to look around the room and remember everything they can see that’s red. Then they close their eyes and remember out loud all the red objects, and then they do the same for the colour blue. What the test proves is that your mind focuses on whatever you ask it to focus on. When you’re looking for blue all your brain looks for and remembers is blue. Very much like problems and solutions, whatever you focus on you will get.

A quote about the benefits when you understand life's not perfect

5. The Benefits When You Understand That Life’s Not Perfect

What gets you down is when you always try to do a task perfectly with no avail. You can’t get your head around it. So instead of taking a step back and coming at it from a different angle. People just shut down and dwell on why they can’t get it right. For example, when playing video games. You come up against a tricky bad guy or a challenging puzzle and you just can’t do it. It can get you down that you’re just not good enough to complete the level. Whereas if you stepped back and go and refresh the brain. 9 times out of 10 you will go and complete the task no problem. It’s not that you can’t do it, it’s either you’re tired or you’re not allowing your brain to figure it out.

Another example of perfection getting in the way, is when a University student who’s striving for the top marks in their class. After countless of studying he finally achieved the highest marks in the class. The feeling he got was not of joy. It was of sadness with the use of self-harming words because to him, it wasn’t perfect. This shows when you strive for perfection you will never attain it.

The reason is, nothing is ever perfect in life and that’s OK. The only thing you can control is giving your best and knowing you gave it your all. This will not only give you favourable results but also make you feel good. Life is a journey of ups and downs not some perfect path.

Another prime example of looking to attain perfection, is that you won’t even try. Because you are afraid of what mistakes you will make will ruin your status as a person. This is completely the wrong way to think about any task and life. How we progress as a human is by making mistakes all the time, finding out what does and doesn’t work. The best and simplest example is of a baby walking for the first time. Babies don’t care how many times they fall over, who’s watching them or whether the walk is the right way. This is how you should live life. Not caring what others will think of you if you make a mistake. Because every human on earth is making their own mistakes every day.

Be aware of when you are being a perfectionist and journal it. Go over why it doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be the best it can be. Then find someone who is more experienced for you to learn from.

this image represents you believing in yourself

6. The Benefits When You Believe In Yourself

When you start to think highly of yourself, it unlocks confidence that you can do anything in life. Whereas if you don’t believe you’re worthy of anything, you will find all the reasons why you can’t do it. That’s why it so beneficial to practice self-love and have a journal of all your past achievements because what gets in the way of your success is you. When you catch yourself saying you’re not smart enough or I can’t do this. Get the thought and chuck it away in your mind or out loud. Replace it with all the success of your life past and always remember you beat a million other cells to be here today.

The Final Say

The 6 Benefits of developing Self-worth in your life can make massive changes. The great things is, you can apply it straight away. When i applied them instantly, i became more focused and happier the same day. The important thing to remember is that they have to be part of your life and practised daily. If not, the 6 benefits of developing self-worth in your life will not work.

At Future Mindset we are going to create a community where we can motivate and hold each other accountable with a Facebook Community. Comment below if you think this is a good idea or you want to be a part of it. We would love to know.